Literal Thoughts

Perspective

2006-08-31T09:57:00.000+04:00

A close friend called me from Iraq today. I excused myself, picked up the phone and said "I'm so sorry, can I call you back, I'm in a meeting?" I heard on the other end, "sure, of course" and I replied quickly "I'll call you back, take care."

I called back an hour or so later. When the phone picked up I got, "I'm so sorry, can I call you back? A bomb just went off very nearby."

Business meetings instantly become trivial...

In other news in Iraq....

2006-08-25T08:15:00.000+04:00

This is enlightening....

Amnesty in Iraq Clarified

2006-06-28T16:22:00.000+04:00

This clarifies things only a bit, but an important bit:

On Sunday, Maliki, a Shiite who has pledged to ease violence gripping Iraq, unveiled a "national reconciliation" that included an amnesty for insurgents "who did not take part in criminal and terrorist acts and war crimes."

"The amnesty doesn't include those who have killed Iraqis or even coalition forces because those soldiers came to Iraq under international agreements to help Iraq," Maliki said in an interview with a group of newspapers that included The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times and The Washington Post.

This leads to more questions, to be discussed soon.

Amnesty in Iraq

2006-06-27T17:14:00.000+04:00

When the news broke (and I found it here two hours before it hit Yahoo news) that so many groups (at least 7 and now perhaps more) were interested in speaking with Maliki's government regarding how they might join the political process yesterday, I spoke with a lot of people that are effected directly.

There is a symposium on this today at NRO, which I am grateful to have been part of, but I wanted to bring up some of the other esteemed writers' points. Bill Roggio makes the point that: "The Coalition should not and will not cede the ability to strike at the Islamist terrorists when the opportunity arises." I don't think that is a worry, nobody involed would truly expect otherwise. The biggest issue is that there's a lot of concern, rightfully so, and at the same time, we don't have all of the facts.

I am usually against 'amnesty' so to speak, as it sets a precedent for 'rewarding' law breakers. In this case, I think and hope, it is different. Michael Rubin makes an absolutely fabulous point as well, that it is not just Sunni groups that are the cause of major violence in Iraq, that the Shia militias are terribly destructive to the society right now, in particular Al-Sadr's followers. He says that,"In Iraq, the amnesty plan will embolden insurgents and terrorists, not pacify them." I agree with him on the insurgents, who I used to consider in the same league as terrorists. Spending time in Iraq changed my view on that. However, I believe that it will embolden them to join the political process in hopes of grabbing power. If Maliki's govt is strong enough, and that's the money question, it could be an answer.

What I had to ask myself was this. What is the alternative? We don't have the political will to go in and eliminate all of these groups. Neither does Iraq. So, they are what, just going to come forward and say, "we give, go ahead and try us for fighting against the Coalition." Simply not going to happen. They need something to 'gain' or at least perceived gain in order to stop. The reason is this, they don't have the same end game as terrorist groups like Al Queda. They don't want to dominate an entire part of the globe, with their own religious fanaticism. They do want return to power within Iraq.

With all of these insurgent groups, there is one common denominator: fear of loss of power. A retired Iraqi General told me yesterday that this is the thought process of these groups, they are thinking only of each moment, their own gain, and that they will agree to stop fighting against the US/Coalition troops if they believe they have a shot at regaining some power. An Iraqi friend put it to me in this way early yesterday: “It is not unlike Arafat. He was a terrorist, but then people agreed to allow him into a political process.” My answer was, “thus, all of our fears.” Will these groups really try to represent their people, and will their people hold them accountable, or will it be only a power grab? All they know, in many ways, is that power means survival. What is the alternative? We aren’t going to kill them all, and they aren’t going anywhere.

My feeling now is not to jump the gun here, and to see how it plays out. We'll have no issues calling out Maliki's govt. if we feel the terms are too harmful to us. This is a lot of forgivness to ask. But it's one of the issues holding back that part of the world. No dialogue. Eye for an eye. This may be a chance to change that. Iraq needs us for years to come. And yes, we will need them.

(For details on my travels in Iraq see November Archives.)

Apple Missing A Byte?

2006-06-25T05:59:00.000+04:00

iTunes. Who doesn’t love it?

I’ve long wondered if Apple is missing out or if they just don’t want the hassle (see this study by the Berkman Center at Harvard) when it comes to having a bigger share of the global market. After many trips to the Middle East, one in which I was told to open my Mac laptop with AK’s pointed at me at a checkpoint in Iraq, (that aluminum finish made them extra wary, they asked repeatedly at first “what is that?”), I got used to the fact that Macs are very seldom seen there. There’s simply no parts to easily fix them, and nobody that knows them well enough to service them.

But, when it comes to iTunes I was truly shocked. If you’ve tried iTunes, chances are, you like it. I use it so much that in my travels I’ve ended up introducing it to a lot of people, and for many it has become their default music player. In the Middle East, the market for computers is growing at a great pace. The market for music and music videos, however, is astounding.

I recently sent a close friend of mine in Iraq what should’ve been a pick-me-up for the day. I bought an iTunes gift card for him. Alas, it’s not as simple as redeeming it in the music store. You have to have an account. And to set up an account, you have to have a credit card. (OK, so far I’m with Apple on this, it all makes sense in fraud prevention and other legalities.)

You can have an address. You can have a credit card. You can desire to give Apple money. But if you live anywhere besides the 21 countries they have selected to serve, you are out of luck. So, though my friend uses iTunes to play his music on his computer, he can’t redeem my gift. Nor can he create an account (yes, Iraq just got credit/debit cards, so that is no longer an issue). And what about all of the other countries? Jordan, UAE, Turkey, Lebanon, just to name a few. No other Asian or African countries are on the list either. Just to be certain that I had this information correct, I called Apple’s help line and spoke with a young man named My. He confirmed that the 21 countries listed were the only ones that could be used to create and iTunes account. (Availability: To buy files through iTunes, a user must have a pre-paid deal or a credit card whose billing address is in Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Republic of Ireland, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom, and United States.) Other people can download podcasts and previews only.

If Apple doesn’t move, MP3 players other than iPod’s will dominate the area, just as PC’s do. To me, that’s a shame, because it’s a great product, and if there is one easy way to gain credibility and a foot in the larger global market it would be through iTunes/iPod sales. So while I can purchase Kazem Al-Saher’s songs (an Iraqi singer now living in Egypt) on iTunes, Mr. Kazem can’t purchase his own songs from iTunes in Iraq or in Egypt. And more importantly to me, my friend can’t use the card I bought him, unless I give him my account here, or create another one for him using my address. Is that what Apple really wants?

I was taught a few things about business. One of them was this: People want to give their money to you, your job is to make it easy for them to do that.

Of course, another is: Do one thing and do it the best. While debate rages between Mac and PC users, the iPod/iTunes matchup is by far the clear winner with consumers in its realm.

I hope that Apple considers putting more of their products and resources in the Middle East, Asia, and Africa before it’s too late. Because they put so much into education here, I spent a bit of time researching ways that the iPod might be useful in that arena last year in developing nations, and there are many. Meanwhile, the global battle to provide online compatible educational tools goes on. And the money goes into other companies that are willing to compete globally.

Min Aamaq Qalbi....

2006-04-20T05:39:00.000+04:00

I am hoping this year brings you all you are wishing for....and that you so deserve.

What a difference a year makes...

2006-03-18T06:15:00.000+03:00

St. Patrick's Day. I'm named after Kerry County in Ireland. But I'm not thinking of celebrating with Guiness this year, in fact I'm only thinking of one thing really today, and that's the green I was seeing on this day last year, when I first set foot in Iraq. And how I miss it.....

And how I miss more those that I shared it with. Here's the glass we raised last year guys, so my wish today, is all the luck of the Irish go to Iraq....

Ahsan Sadeek

2006-03-04T18:15:00.000+03:00

Cheers!!!!!!! Thinking of all the good times...past and to come.

Dude, where's my State?

2006-03-02T06:47:00.000+03:00

I had to travel back from Boston to NH in late December and this has been bothering me ever since.

I grew up in New Hampshire. By grade one I learned all about General John Stark and our State Motto, which is "Live Free or Die". On my paternal side, my relatives helped settle the State in the late 1600's. I'm a Yankee girl for sure. And I used to be proud, proud that New Hampshire was proud...

But the sign that welcomes you to the New Hampshire coming from the south is not what it used to be. It used to be a big green sign saying "Welcome to New Hampshire" and underneath that: "Live Free or Die".

Now it says "Welcome to New Hampshire, a Great Place to Visit" or some such ridiculousness.

Dude, where's my State? Oh, right, it's become a suburb of Boston. That would be Massachusetts, where they elect Ted Kennedy and John Kerry....and ironically, whose State motto used to be: "Ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem" translated to: "By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty."

The original colonies, it seems, have forgotten in large part how they got to be the States that they are...

Iraq preliminary election results

2005-12-20T14:03:00.000+03:00

Watch the Iraqi blogs for more detailed news.

From IECI in Baghdad. The UIA is currently being reported to have won 38 of the 59 seats in Baghdad. Over 600 complaints had been reported as of 9 am Baghdad time this morning. It seems that for many in Baghdad, the math isn't adding up. There is also suspicion because the IECI had stated that it would not make public the results for two weeks. If these results are accurate it looks as though they will retain power with the expected votes coming from the south and the ability to elect the PM with a majority of seats. The National Accord Front looks to retain the second largest amount, but far from what they expected. This, of course, is putting a tremendous strain on things there, as the disparity is enough for people to believe that some fraud or voting error without a doubt took place.

This outlook isn't bright for an easy start. There will likely be a lot of infighting and tension. And there are enough 'militias' on each side to make trouble when political processes break down as they are likely going to do at times, in such a new situation. Secular Iraqis are worried that it won't take more than four years with SCIRI-types runnning the place to turn it into something too close to Iran. They feel like things are spinning away from progress. Not unlike Big Pharoah feels in this post, many of the Iraqis I know feel they don't have four more years to give to what they consider to be an Islamic Fundamentalist government. They are frustrated, they can accept that the UIA wins a plurality, but not such a large disparity as this, which was not expected as an outcome in Baghdad. They know that realistically, if it takes another election cycle or two, that isn't much in the history of time for a nation to change as much as they have. However, they have already been through exactly what Egypt is going through now, only on a more brutal scale. And that kind of experience doesn't just wash away.

Let us hope that the PEOPLE of IRAQ remember that they have the power to hold their representatives responsible, to let them know that if their interests aren't represented as promised, they can provide consequences, without the threats of violence.

It's Iraq's day-hope springs eternal...

2005-12-15T13:04:00.000+03:00

I can't begin to describe my feelings tonight as I get ready for following the vote in Iraq.

I wish for the day when the beauty of the palms and sparkling rivers will be drawing the world's eyes instead of the burned cars. I wish for the day that people can see Iraq the way I do, with the eyes of a lover, omitting flaws and lingering on the beauty, not just the external, but the internal. Forgiving weaknesses and oddities borne from the years of strife and seeing the passion and determination and the goodness.

I have, as an American, been accused of being naive, overly optimisitic, and too trusting, too open. Well, I guess I wouldn't be me any other way, so I can live with that. And I've found there are Iraqis that recognize that in Americans, and they either take advantage of it, or they love you the more for it, like a child who is so in wonderment of the world that they don't always take all precautions to protect themselves. I've been lucky to find more often than not, that I've been taken under their wing and they are the most loyal friends one could wish for.

Someone asked me to post this photo (at top) a while back and I was hesitant because it is personal to me. But I do love the symbolism so I decided to share it. It is my hand entwined with one of my Iraqi friends, this was about 6 weeks after last year's election and you can see on the index fingernail two small spots of ink left from the "purple finger" as it has come to be known. This relationship, and what it represents, the thousands of Iraqis and Americans that have held hands and held each other during through the past three years says everything, about our two nations, and what is possible in this world.

Today is your day Iraq. And I'm just an observer, but I'm watching with hope beyond hope. For all of us.

The Day Before The Rest of Their Lives

2005-12-14T15:02:00.000+03:00

Today in Iraq things will be tense. This isn't January elections. January was about a step in a process, it was about emotions more than anything else, it was pivotal, and it set the path, but it was not about a 4 year ruling government.

Tomorrow is much different. A four year government will be in place at the end of all the vote counting, which will take days. Everyone I know in Iraq is much more concerned about fraud because the stakes are so high.

The big question on everyone's mind is this: Will the Kurdish parties and one of the other more secular parties, primarily Allawi's, gain enough seats between them to hold in check any of the more radical religious changes that people worry the "Shiite Alliance Party" might try to implement?

This kind of report is an example of the worries underlying the excitement on voting day this time:

"In Baghdad, the leader of the most feared of Iraq's factional militias seemed to warn of war if the Sunnis won. "We will raise our weapons as we did before if the Baathists come to power again," said Haidi Amery, leader of the officially disbanded Badr militia of the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq, one of the Shiite religious parties brought to power in January's vote. Some in the Shiite ruling coalition invoke the name of Hussein's Sunni-dominated Baath Party when referring to any Sunni or secular Iraqi, particularly Allawi."

Almost every Sunni had to enlist in the Baath party under Saddam technically or be subject to punishment ranging from blacklisting to much worse, as we know. Some bravely resisted this, or avoided it. But to do so under such a tyranny as Saddam's people outside cannot understand what that meant. Not all Sunnis are Baathists. It is one of the most misunderstood issues, as I talk to people here, average, intelligent, well educated Americans that have only read the MSM for their news, they believe all Sunnis are part of the "insurgency" and are amazed when they hear of how many Sunnis hated Saddam and his baathist ways, and hate the faction that fuels the insurgency as well. And Allawi was just as tough with support for crackdown on the area of Fallujah when he was in power, which is another reason that he is liked by many, he showed he will crack down on either sect when it comes to violence, be it a Shiite linked one or a Sunni linked one.

I know many secular or liberal Shiite that have been completely horrified by the current government in power and would like to see it change, so it's not as cut and dry as people here make it to be.

The worst thing people can do is catagorize voters in this way. I've said before, it's as reliable as predicting the "Catholic vote" here, which usually splits, some are for more liberal social and political programs because they wish that was how the Church was heading, some will vote more conservatively because of their social values, which they fear are being eroded. Yes, there are still a lot of sheep in Iraq following their flock leaders, voting as their local Cleric tells them to, especially in the villages. But also, I have heard of many that go and listen at the mosques and voice what they must out of fear, but will not vote the way they are told. After all, that is their only hope now, that someday they will not have to worry about a reprisal on them and their family for open disagreement in some areas of Iraq, where the Clerics still hold sway over entire villages.

For the 35 and under crowd, this election is especially important. They are more educated, and becoming so all the time. They are more open minded, as youth usually are, and there are many bright stars ready to raise Iraq in the next decade or two if only they feel there is a chance. Let's hope that tomorrow they will be able to give themselves that chance.

My greatest hopes and fears hinge upon tomorrow as well. If a change is not felt, not effected, I fear that following that Iraq will lose many of her best and brightest. But hope can not be killed easily for so many that have suffered so much. There is no reason that Iraq shouldn't be the leading country in the Middle East. But only they can decide to take themselves there, and we should all remember tomorrow that, after decades of tyranny, that is a victory in itself.

This gave me a laugh...

2005-11-25T20:25:00.000+03:00

When I read this morning that protestors were back in Crawford, Texas and had celebrated Thanksgiving with "an Iraqi meal" I had to laugh.

Er, hardly anything in here is "Iraqi". Salmon????? P-L-E-A-S-E! I have seen salmon in exactly one place in the Middle East, which was in a sushi bar in Jordan. Where's the teshreeb? The masgoof? And they seem to have mixed up Middle Eastern food, with Iraqi food when it comes to Tabouleh (Lebanese) and Lentils (mostly eaten in Iraq only in lentil soup during Ramadan). Kind of like someone over in Iraq saying, "we're having an American style dinner, in solidarity with the soldiers that are risking their lives for our freedom, we're having grits and hamburgers." Permit me to risk saying that I think that our soldiers would have some choice jokes to make over that idea of 'solidarity'.

You know, really, what bothers me about this is how anyone can possibly delude themselves that they are somehow making a difference by doing this? Which once again, shows you how much they care to know about the culture that they are so wound up about representing. Do they really think that any family member of an Iraqi that has been killed cares what they are eating?

Here's a quote from the article:

“The idea is that it's an Iraqi-style meal to eat in solidarity with the Iraqi people who are dying there,” said Linda Foley, a protester from Azle. “We're not having the traditional indulgent American dinner.”

OK, now I'm REALLY laughing. Do they have any clue of how large an 'average' Iraqi meal is? (About the same as one of our "indulgent Thanksgiving feasts".) Forget about feasts when guests are there, or during Eid!!!

Giving Thanks...

2005-11-24T18:08:00.000+03:00

Today is Thanksgiving here in the US. A celebration based on a story of cooperation between two peoples long ago, natives and occupiers, who together formed a bond of friendship while battling a harsher element (in that case, our cold New England winters).

Of course, I can't help but translate that personally to our story with Iraq. I will be spending the day with my brother-in-law's family, while he is in Iraq. His wife is doing the cooking, along with another friend of hers, whose husband is also in Iraq. They've been friends for a long time, used to run a catering business when they were at Ft.Campbell with the 101st, so there is no need to say that dinner will be fantastic. We'll have seven kids about the house between us, and every time we look at them running around each other with delight, we'll think of their dads missing this, another moment lost along the way in a fight for something bigger than themselves.

And we'll thank God, that they are still alive, that we have loved them, that for all the sacrifice, freedom will taste that much sweeter today.

So, to all the people I love in Iraq, both American and Iraqi, in the spirit of that cooperation and giving of thanks, I leave you with this:

(Iraqi hands I love that cooked and shared with me things I never let go of.)

Happy Thanksgiving...you are never out of our thoughts. And most of all...Thank You.

Book Blogging

2005-11-16T18:31:00.000+03:00

I am reading Night Draws Near, by Anthony Shadid, at the moment and will be blogging a review as soon as I am finished.

Iraq The Model

2005-11-14T22:41:00.000+03:00

Happy 2 years of blogging! Comments are open there for you, so go let them know how much they are appreciated....

What a difference a year makes...

2005-11-14T15:44:00.000+03:00

Note: I'm bumping this post, originally published on the 7th, because it got stuck in the middle of a pile of other posting, and it's one that I would like people to know about, particularly leading up to elections in Iraq.

A year ago I was just weeks past a meeting with some Iraqis. They were from Fallujah, Ramadi, and Baghdad. We were discussing a number of things, but one of them was the upcoming election.

There was a man there from Ramadi that said “what election, you are crazy, it will be just as it always has been, they will tell us what to vote.” An argument ensued, and he looked in shock at people from Baghdad who were frustrated trying to explain to him, “if you go and put your name on the list, I will vote for you, it’s not the same now, you can join a party and you can vote for whom you like!”

I heard then about the corruption that was still rife in these areas, how people couldn’t learn much but rumor, how covering anything less innocuous than a soccer game could get you killed.

Since that time, I’ve seen amazing progress. What we are doing in Iraq is not in vain. And the reasons I believe that are due to what I’ve seen and experienced, so I’d like to share them.

In March, I was in Iraq for the second anniversary of OIF. I was traveling that day, both in and out of the ‘green line’ that separates Kurdistan from the rest of Iraq, with Iraqis. On that day, I saw the American flag raised with the Iraqi and the Kurdish flags. At every checkpoint, out came my US passport, and I got “Americhi” and enthusiastic smiles and thumbs up and “thank you”. The smiles and the eyes say a lot in Iraq. I was not in a convoy. I was not with military. There was no reason for any of these people to fear me, or to think for even a moment that they would need to pretend something they didn’t feel.

When I got back to the hotel I was staying in that evening, I watched in what I am not honestly able to call disbelief, but was dismay as the news broadcast protests against the “war with Iraq”. I had spent the entire day experiencing Iraqis thanking us for what we had done, and yet here was London and Washington with people marching against what I had spent the day collecting smiles for.

In March, riding high off elections, the feeling in Iraq was hopeful. On Radio Sawa, we listened to an Iraqi song that played often that was about national unity, from Dohuk to Basra, (north to south) and naming all Iraqis as brothers and sisters, Kurds, Shia, Sunni. Certainly that has been my experience in Iraq in the past year. I’ve seen far more cooperation between different sects than I have self-segregation.

In July I had the opportunity to go back to Iraq and jumped at the chance. I stayed in an Iraqi friend’s home in Kirkuk. I drove through the country with my Iraqi guides. I saw Iraq, not from inside the green zone, not from inside a tank or a convoy, and not only from the beauty and safety of Kurdistan. This was scorching July heat. And it was not what I expected. It was so much better. Most Iraqis love to talk. And I love to listen. Here are some of the things that I heard that show the changing mindset in Iraq:

“No more Mortal Gods.” (In reference to, of course, Saddam, but the discussion was centered on the pictures of Clerics and Politicians that are abundant in Iraq, that the people discussing felt that it encouraged too much idolatry of one person.)

“Sorry madam, we were only looking to your safety. Good luck to you, and thank you.” (From checkpoint guards as I was leaving the checkpoint with my Iraqi guides, all male. They had made my guides step away from the car and interrogated me separately to be certain I was not being held against my will. In other words, they were ready to take a bomb or be jumped by cornered terrorists in order to uphold their duty, and not to an Iraqi, but an American.)

“Elections will be different next time. In January, elections were very emotional. The Shia, they never held power, and so in some areas they went to the extreme by electing some of the elements that they did (the Basra area in particular we were discussing). Now, many people there are displeased with the way things turned out, and they have said that they wouldn’t vote the same again if they knew how radical some of the clerics would be when given political power on top of their clerical power. As well, many Sunni were provided more education under the old regime, and exposed as thus to Western thought (even as it was not allowed by the regime, to try and keep the mind from searching for more knowledge once it is given is an impossible task), which they share with the Kurds. All of this will change the election next time. People saw how over 100 parties can’t get a good number of seats and have learned to compromise and form alliances within certain frameworks. Because of what we’ve learned in the past year with the transitional government, you will see a different kind of voting this time.” (From Iraqi friends, most interestingly echoed by the people under age 40, in Baghdad, Basra, and Erbil.)

But here we come to the best news about Iraq. In the past few months, we have seen some things happening that when looked at past the surface, show an underlying trend of enormous changes that are can only be read as positive.

The first case involves an Iraqi who got pulled over on a hot day not too long ago by the Iraqi Police. They insisted that his vehicle didn’t meet current standards. They got to the police station and he was prepared to have to pay them, as this was the normal way of doing things. But, not only did they not ask for payment, when he offered it as a fine, they refused it. Not refusing just big corruption, but normal, everyday, accepted practice! Refusing easy money. In Baghdad. The IP. The same organization that three years ago was in charge of terrorizing was now asking politely for paperwork to be completed. Progress?

The next case involves some artists in Basra. Art was restricted to what the authorities allowed or commissioned during Saddam’s reign. Artists are shy in nature, particularly in this culture. Yet these artists broke all traditions to show their work. They wanted to hold a gallery showing to show their work to people in Basra, but they couldn’t yet afford a hall’s rent. So, they decided to have a “sidewalk show”. While this is normal in Europe, in Iraq this is a completely unheard of thing. (In fact many good Iraqi musicians and artists are always showing their talents in Amman when I am there, for just this reason of so many years of being oppressed.) Artists, breaking chains of over 30 years in under three. Progress?

Another case involves a group of people in Diwaniyah, that has taken up animal rights causes. They are creating a reservation for animals threatened with extinction or endangerment in Iraq. Now, people that feel the “luxury” to worry about things such as this, are clearly acting as part of their communities, they are taking personal responsibility for their country in some way, and they are not walking around daily barely surviving. Progress?

The reality in Iraq is this. All but three of the provinces are reasonably safe and controlled for the average Iraqi. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. But the trusty wheel, it just keeps rolling forward. We’ve got more trusty wheels than squeaky ones in Iraq now, but the squeaky ones need to be replaced or maintained so that the entire vehicle can move on.

One of my most treasured memories is from my trip in March. Everyone still had the faintest touch of ink still left on their fingernails from elections, not wanting to see it fade. My Iraqi friends were commenting on how they felt a good deal of gratitude our soldiers for making that day come to fruition, how close they felt to Americans because of it. We entwined our fingers and took a photo. My American hand, entwined with an Iraqi hand, and the stain of ink visible…it was the embodiment of what has been done between these two countries. And continues to be, if only we have patience and resolve. Iraq is full of good news. One only needs know where to look.

Iraq Elections

2005-11-14T15:37:00.000+03:00

Over the next few weeks I'll be doing some blogging and hopefully an article or two on the upcoming elections in Iraq. I hope you'll come back to hear what people there are saying, as well as Iraqi expats living here, in the UK, and in Jordan.

Veterans Day

2005-11-11T17:07:00.000+03:00

To all veterans and their families...thank you never seems like enough, but in the end it is what we say on this day. Because you allow me a life of liberty, today I remember my duty to you, to regard it with the honor it deserves and do my part to preserve it in whatever way I can. Your sacrifices remind me how very small mine are, and I look to your example for strength when I am weak. Today we should remember that all we are able to become is only because of what you have given up. But for the protectors of freedom, freedom would not exist...

Hotels in Amman Bombed...

2005-11-10T04:16:00.000+03:00

This hit me hard. The thought that it was unfolding as I was writing the post below is all the more ironic. But hardest of all for me is that I have stayed in Amman many times and felt safe. In fact, there are more entry/exit stamps in my passport from Amman than any other city in the world. Yes, I've known there are dangers, but they are below the surface for the most part, and if you've spent much time there, as with anywhere, you get a feeling of a comfort with the area. I haven't stayed at any of the particular hotels that were hit in this, but I know where they are, and I've stayed at almost every other 'western hotel' there.

And I'm angrier than ever.

Update: I feel I should write more on this, having been in Amman 7 times in the past year. Before I first went to Amman, I was briefed on security there. Just the basics, but at the time there had been threats to certain western elements between 2000-2004, so I was told to expect to see Intell, but that if followed that it may be hard to tell whether you were being followed by Jordanian Intell or by AQ, that Jordanian Intell was very, very, well trained and nothing to be worried over, but to be aware of, as AQ operatives liked to mimic them. But the most serious threats were to western journalists reported during those years.

More importantly, as you are hearing reported now, Amman is known as the exit and entry to 'civilization' for many westerners coming in and out of Baghdad. When I was there last, after finally getting into the city from a long delayed flight from sandstorms, a few of us got together to have some good food and drinks at a popular spot in the Shmeisani district in Amman, myself, an Embassy worker, and an Aussie that had been working in Iraq. Amman has become a place for people to connect and relax, to savor hot baths and drinks and chatter in the Abdoun district, which holds western pub/clubs, and the largest Starbucks you'd ever want to see, and it was always packed with people.

Possibly more importantly, it has become a safe meeting place for Iraqis and Westerners and the amount of conferences there involving Iraq in some way is astounding. How this will effect all of that remains to be seen, but it feels personal to me, having spent so much time there, there are a lot of emotions tied up in that city for me.

Jordanians, for the most part have been good to me, as you can see.....and I'm so sorry for everyone there.

How Different this War Is

2005-11-09T22:23:00.000+03:00

Just struck me again with this question from my 9 year old, who was drawing pictures for our troops and asked me, "what does the bad guys' flag look like?"

There's no war between countries here, and that in itself says a lot about what we are dealing with...and is awfully hard to explain to a 9 year old kid.

Giving everyone from Iraq a voice...

2005-11-09T18:53:00.000+03:00

With only a month and a few days until Iraq's next election, this time for a government that will rule for 4 years, could this happen again? I'll have more reporting on this in the following days. Friends in Iraq tell me it is one of the most under reported parts of the election there, and with over a million voters worldwide outside of Iraq eligible to vote in Iraq's elections, it certainly can make a difference in the outcome there.

Excerpt from the article referenced above, from Iraq elections of January 05:

Organizing polling stations for Iraqis in the U.S.

MARGARET WARNER: This is the largest expatriate, out-of-country voting effort ever. A U.N.-sponsored group based in Switzerland has set up polling sites in 14 countries around the world.

There are just five sites in the United States: in or near Detroit; Chicago; Los Angeles; Nashville; and Washington, DC.

There, under rules set by Iraq's electoral commission Shiites and Sunnis, Christians and Kurds who fled their homeland during Saddam Hussein's regime or earlier, may vote in Iraq's first free election in at least 50 years.

DHANYA AL-GASSID: We've never had the chance or the opportunity to vote back in Iraq so we're a little excited about this. It's new and everyone's doing it; it's awesome.

MARGARET WARNER: Even if they are American citizens -- as most are -- all Iraqis in the U.S. can vote if they can prove they or their father were born in Iraq.

Election officials say there are some 240,000 U.S. Iraqis who are eligible to vote under the rules.

But proving eligibility hasn't always been easy. This man drove from Nebraska to Chicago to register.

OFFICIAL: If you have the documents at home, you can come back with them.

IRAQI: I'm from Nebraska.

MARGARET WARNER: What's more, the rules require two visits -- the first one to register; the second one, during three days over this weekend, to vote.

Kurdish émigré Daoud Ismail took the first step last Saturday. He and four carloads of friends drove six hours to the Washington area site in New Carrollton, Maryland.

DAOUD ISMAIL: We came all the way from Connecticut about 2 o'clock in the morning; we drive all the way down here to register ourself for election of Iraq.

MARGARET WARNER: Yet by the time registration closed Tuesday night fewer than 26,000 Iraqis in America had signed up. Just 11 percent of the eligible pool.

That, considering what our troops are fighting for there, is a travesty in my mind. And, from what I could gather for information, was mostly due to a lack of information and a lack of organization. Let's make it a little easier for them this time, shall we? Possibly not using a UN based group in Switzerland to make all of the decisions might help. (Yes, that's heavy sarcasm you hear.)

VOTE

2005-11-08T19:51:00.000+03:00

If you are a US Citizen, think of all those all around the world that don't have a voice, and use yours today.

Valour IT-Give something back to those who give us most.

2005-11-07T18:41:00.000+03:00

Reminder, Veteran's Day is Friday. Please consider those that give so much to protect our rights and our liberties.

With Blackfive's post on Project Valour IT as our leader, I'm supporting the Army team!

Providing our injured troops with voice activated laptops is a fantastic way to speed healing. Anyone who has ever lived with a severe injury, disease, or similar medical issue knows how closely the mental state of a patient is tied to the physical. If you can help improve their mental state, they can more easily improve their physical state. And here is a way that you can help do just that!

For all of those waiting for this treatment, and as thanks to all of the troops out there, I donated. You can do so at the link on the right sidebar. If you haven't I hope that you will. Every little bit counts.

Sharing Iraq

2005-11-04T11:09:00.000+03:00

I have posted beneath this entry my entire "traveling Iraq" series, which were posts originally published between August and October, but really were meant to be a true series. I wanted to share them because they are a partial chronicle of my time spent there, and the things that I learned, and how Iraq became, to me, a place of hope.

My journey is my own, and I understand too well that the experience of Iraq as a member of the US military isn't anything near in most cases to what I have had. It is one of my greatest joys that I was able to move about the country unhindered by orders, convoys, and other things that would have announced my presence, and thus completely changed the way I was able to view Iraq. Please don't forget to thank and support our troops, it is only by their service and their families' sacrifice that I write at all, and I try never to forget that.

I'll have a followup post on Good News in Iraq on Monday, November 7.

I hope you enjoy; the reading and the photos.

Traveling Iraq: A series

2005-11-04T10:40:00.000+03:00

I’m a civilian. Because of that, I get to see places in ways that are different than the military gets to see them. After two trips to Iraq, I am gratified to have had these experiences.

Because I have had the chance to do this, I want to share it with other Americans, so that they understand, really, how Iraq is, at least from the only perspective I can give, which is the one on the ground there. For so many of my fellow countrymen and women they think of “Iraq” as one giant danger zone. That simply isn’t true. Some places are much more dangerous than others. Some places are moderately dangerous, and some are downright safe.

For some unexplainable reason, a major event has happened, either in the world or in the Middle East every time I’ve been there since November of 04. I’ve gotten to witness and experience some things that I’d never dreamed I would.

So, here are some stories and photos from Iraq, I hope you enjoy them.

Spring 2005:

My first flight into Baghdad International Airport. The views are stunning. The planes all do circles coming in, banking hard on the corners, to make any possibility of being a target of anti aircraft fire more difficult. It sounds much more dangerous than it is though, as there hasn’t been a major incident in the airport in years now, insofar as planes being downed by anything other than accident.

I’m about to find out why.

But before I go into that, I need to tell you about Baghdad in spring. It looks like paradise. It did not look like the hell I saw on tv, not at all. There are giant areas of housing of course, it’s a huge city, of about 6 million people. But, many of even the smaller homes keep a “backyard garden”. So there was still plenty of green, and that’s what surprised me, how lush it was, how the groves of palms were almost forests in places, how the Tigris (Dijla there) sparkled in the sun. I don’t mind saying after all the time I waited to go to Iraq, my first views of Baghdad put tears in my eyes. I whipped out a piece of paper and started scribbling down my thoughts and feelings about what I was seeing. I gave it to my Iraqi friend that was accompanying me to read. I got back a grin of pride and understanding.

Back to BIAP, as it is fondly called. The protocol there is constantly changing. As we landed, the tarmac was FULL of armed guards, I doubt anyone has seen a civilian part of an airport more guarded than this one. As we disembarked the plane, we got on a bus that brought us to the main terminal. I had to go get a visa, which is an interesting process in itself. I got my visa, in typical Iraqi style, no rush, no hurry, but with graciousness, and once the man issuing them saw that I was doing Internet work, he immediately perked up. He was so happy to see I was from the US, and he was also so happy I might be able to help him with a computer issue he was having. I took his e mail, he gave me my visa, and we said ma’as salama (goodbye, until later).

Luggage was taken off the plane (though it had been scanned in Amman of course), BIAP isn’t your typical “stopover” airport between flights. Everyone disembarks. Everyone goes through customs. Everyone gets their luggage x rayed, AND hand searched (don’t bring anything that might embarrass you or may be culturally insensitive). After all this is completed, you are led hurriedly through one last round of security (women are separated at all airports in the Middle East for security “wanding” and pat downs), and then finally, back out to the plane. Oh, I wouldn’t want you to miss the chaotic nature of this process, it’s all done with the people flying and yelling, rushing about, getting their visas, their luggage dealt with, their passports stamped, paying their exit fee, while the Iraqis that work there take it all in stride, as Iraqis do, relaxed, no rush at all. When you get back to the tarmac, and think, “phew, now we’re going to re-board”, there’s one last step. You leave all of your carry on luggage in a line, while a guard takes a dog over it to find any hazardous materials, or traces of them, both on your luggage and on your feet. Ours was a shepherd, and she was a beauty, but all business. At this time, a mortar exploded outside the gates of the airport. I have say that I didn’t flinch, really it didn’t even affect me. There’s so much noise already, with blades whirring, and people shouting, that it was just one more noise.

Conclusion, Baghdad International Airport may just be one of the safest airports in the world right now. They are doing a hell of a job keeping it that way.

Now, I was off to Erbil……and here’s what greeted me there.

Traveling Iraq: continued...

2005-11-04T10:31:00.000+03:00

We started driving, through Erbil’s downtown (right) and toward the mountains until we came to the hotel. Security was tight here, they check the car with mirrors, everyone gets out, they check luggage and then you are allowed in, after much difficulty with communication, as the guards only know Kurdish, and little Arabic and English. This is something that I would see repeatedly during my time in Kurdistan, though the educated class, particularly those under age 20, know English and quite well, and many know Arabic also. In a few cases, you can find Kurds that know Arabic but feign ignorance of it, simply out of pride and a separatist attitude. A mild cursing will usually cause you to be able to quickly find the truth of anyone's language abilities. Either way, however, I've found when you don't have words, you can usually still get your point across through broken speech in different languages, and hand gesturing as well as simply a look or a smile.

After a few days in Erbil, I went on a road trip, to Shaqlawa. Now, this is a village in the mountains, and also a “resort”. Let’s just say that we found the village at least 3 times, but nobody seemed to know where the resort was...but the drive alone was worth it. The scenery was just amazing.

It was great fun, and on the way back to Erbil, I got to do the driving. I LOVE driving in anything close to a 3rd world country, because the road rules are: make up your own! It was surreal to be driving through Iraq, even if it was Kurdistan...and I loved every second of it.

When we stopped at a stream for a break and here I saw one of a shepherd’s boys and he allowed me to take his picture, and I gave him some coins which he was quite pleased with. We went from there to a restaurant back in Erbil. I had some kind of kabob I believe, but someone else had teshreeb, and for me, one taste and I was hooked. This stuff was amazing. The lamb is falling off the bone, and the bread is soaked in the cooking juices, and it is messy and sooo delicious. Iraqi bread is even better than “nan” (Indian bread), and that’s coming from someone that had an Indian friend whose mother fed me well (thank you Mrs. Vaswani!).

The next day I was driven to the beautiful waterfalls. There are many of them, cascading over rocks, over flowering plants, and they were stunning. There, my initials were carved into a tree. How odd to anyone here, I know, but you must understand that I took this as a huge compliment, as for one to make my mark in Iraq is to say I belong as they do. I will always remember that place, I took in every last detail of it, walking around, looking at the people, the water, the green of springtime, convincing myself that I was truly there. I took lots of pictures, but mostly I just soaked everything in. The beauty was overwhelming.

Oh, I forgot to tell that on the way through the mountains, there are children all over the roadsides selling the spring flowers of the mountains there, these are the ones that you see here, and I can't describe how very much I love this photo. They are called “narcis”. I spent most of the day with my face buried in their heavenly scent. Tomorrow would bring even more surprises, but for this day, I was content, perfectly so.

Traveling Iraq: pt.3

2005-11-04T10:14:00.000+03:00

Okay, first I'd like to describe what driving in Iraq is like. Just put yourself back in the 1970's and you've pretty much got it, but without road rules. Shove as many people as possible into a smallish car, and no seat belts, drinks and snacks all around, music (Bee Gees is popular, may as well stay with the 70's theme), and the joke is, while in the car, you feel freer than you do in the US!

Then, when hurtling down mountain roads where you can't see around the bend, pass the car in front of you. And if you are stuck in a traffic jam, just keep creating your own lane until there are no more definitive lanes....never use a map....just ask 15 times for directions, spend an extra hour or two on the road. Be essentially as inefficient as possible, but as ingenious as you must as well. Be prepared to patch a tire, or try a different route, and be patient, as there are people who don't even know what village they live in, forget about the way to the nearest city.

Now we can move on.

The next day we headed for Dohuk. To get there, one would normally go through Mosul, which, for obvious reasons we did NOT want to do. At every checkpoint, we got the oddest looks, Shia and Sunni Arabs, sometimes with Kurds as well, and an American female, was enough to confuse the heck out of anyone! But to me, it really represented the new Iraq. This was still only 8 weeks after elections, and unity was feeling stronger at that time.

I love Dohuk. (The photo to the left are people on the street watching a wedding party process through town.) I'd like to say that I got so many kind responses in Kurdistan. Many times I would end up getting “Americi?” when they saw my passport, and then get “you are most welcome here” or “you are our guest here”, or just a very enthusiastic thumbs up and smiles and waving from the guards at the checkpoints. It was a long drive, almost 5 hours, in part because we were trying to avoid certain spots, in part because we had to keep stopping to ask directions, (at least 20 times, no exaggeration-they don't use maps there) you just ask the Kurdish version of “hey Johnny” or “hi there Johnny”, equivalent to us saying “Hi mister!” as we stopped and asked for directions to Dohuk “NI Mosul!” (meaning not to/near/through Mosul). One person actually said, “God help you if you go to there, don’t do it, or you will not live to tell”. We blew a tire on the road, there were so many cars with plates from Mosul on that road and though I am able to say I felt no fear, some of my guides were feeling a bit anxious over me being there. That's the terrible thing. I can handle causing myself fear, but not being the cause for others. The other thing that was disconcerting was watching the driver every time a rock was sent up from a lorry, and hit the windshield with a crack, he would automatically duck his head as a reflex. That brought home the reality of living in Baghdad for the past years to me. I couldn’t possibly feel as scared as most Iraqis, because I haven’t lived in that climate of fear for that long. But I remember too well the feeling immediately following Sept.11 here. Too many have forgotten it. Yes, we were resolved. But most were always waiting for the next attack, specifically in the first week following. I only wish people could keep that in mind when they are losing patience with Iraq. For them, it is like living in NYC every day as the day after September 11, only the attacks don’t stop, so the fight/flight reflex is always just below the surface. And they've been doing it for decades. And people wonder why it's taking "so long".

Back to Dohuk. The sunset, shown in the photo to the right was beautiful as we drove back into the city after an excursion. The traffic was quite bad, but only going into town, as it was the eve of the Kurdish New Year. Dohuk is friendly, it still feels like a village, there is a certain warmth to the people there, even as it is growing into an obviously ever more prosperous place to live. So, we sat in traffic, but not unhappily, as the weather was nice (not like July, let me tell you those stories you've heard about the heat there in summer are too true!) and there was a great feeling in the air of excitement and at the same time of peacefulness.

Nawrouz, or Kurdish New Year brings something else. This evening before means that everyone burns tires in celebration, the lights in the photo to the left are all from burning tires. It sounds odd, but it really is beautiful at night to see those fires. I wish I could have captured it, but in the mountains to the right of those in the photo, there was even a fire way up at the top. I wondered if the person who did that had a personal oasis in a cave up there...

The next day everyone takes their families on picnics in the mountains, and we were planning to do the same. To prepare for this, we went to a local marketplace (below). You've seen photos of this before if you have visited Michael Yon's site. Next time, I'll take you with me to Sulaf, a beautiful mountain village near Dohuk, where I arguably spent one of the best days of my life.

Traveling Iraq pt. 4-Sulaf

2005-11-04T10:10:00.000+03:00

Today is a day like no other. A day I'll remember for the rest of my life. There are some experiences that truly change you. That you know will retain an extra special place in your memory forever. I've had more of these moments in the Middle East in the past year than I have in about the past ten years of my life put together. But this is one of the peaks.

It is the Kurdish New Year. Everyone is on holiday, except for those that must work in the morning for people to prepare for the rest of the day, which are mostly shopkeepers and butchers. For all of Kurdistan is going on a picnic in the mountains today.

We split duties preparing for the trip. The car must be checked and filled with gas. We must have implements for a barbeque. And we must have all the ingredients as well, the main one being a freshly slaughtered lamb. Once all of this is done, we are off into the mountains, driving aimlessly, looking for the perfect spot to picnic.

There are signs of unity everywhere. On radio Sawa, the song that is on is singing "we are one Iraq from Basrah to Dohuk"......it goes on to sing of Iraqi unity, from north to south, from people to people, Kurds, Shiites, Sunnis, men and women, are all children of Iraq. I caught this display of two Kurdish flags together. The Kurds are very proud and independent, but still they are part of Iraq, and on this day, it was so nice to see it displayed in many ways.

We drove and drove. We entered the small village that is the resort part of Sulaf. You can see here in this photograph that there are a few places at the foot of the mountains. In the mountains are caves that the Peshmerga trained and camped in back in Saddam's time as the story goes. You can see them as visible large splotches in the mountains. On top of one of these buildings as we drove by were a group of students graduating from Baghdad University. They were dancing on top of the roof of one of the buildings here, celebrating Nawrouz, and they too were singing songs of the new Iraq. The entire day seemed full of a happiness that nothing could possibly shatter.

We finally decided on the spot to have our picnic. It was up behind a farmhouse, on a hill, overlooking the mountains. There was an old Christian church of some sort there. It was peaceful, it was beautiful, it was heaven on earth. I looked out to catch the sun shining in rays on the top of a hill where literally it looked as though the top had been shorn off, and a small city built on the hill. The sun shined on it in a way to make the city look surreal, ethereal even.

Well, this is about a picnic, in the Iraqi style! Out came the lamb, to be chopped and prepared. Iraqis know how to make a bbq. That lamb was the best thing I've ever tasted in my life, with some roasted onions and tomatoes, with Iraqi bread, and the juices running on it. I will have other picnics in Iraq, but this one will be the one that remains with me forever, as do many of our first great experiences in life.

The farmhouse has two children that came out to look at us from a safe distance. The farmer already assented to allow us to come up and picnic in back of his place, so it was just curiousity driving the kids to see what we were up to. I saw two farmdogs out there playing with them. They were wandering about, and, well, I'm an animal lover to put it mildly. And a dog lover even more so. And these were quite obviously bred from some sort of strain of the Great Pyrenees herding dogs. So, I couldn't help myself. I gave a sharp whistle, and the dogs responded instantly. Yes, yes, I know the rules. Don't pet stray animals, especially in places where they are likely to carry all manner of diseases.......but these weren't exactly your run of the mill strays (of which there are plenty in the Middle East, cats and dogs alike). They played with the farmers' kids, and that was good enough for me.

After feeding them the remainder of the lamb bones, I took a walk up the hill to find a lone Kurdish shepherd there. (Click on photo at top of page to enlarge.) He was watching his flock (right), and he assented to saying hello and allowing me to take his photo. As far as I could tell, he had never encountered a foreigner before, especially a female one, and he seemed greatly shy. He was, my companions explained, ashamed that he had broken in on a group picnic. He did give me a quick smile though, and after I took a couple of photos, I left him with his flock in peace.

The drive back was a bit long, and so I took another turn at the wheel. This was one of the most interesting bits of my journeys in Iraq. You see, women in the countryside aren't seen driving, most especially they are not seen driving men about! We had two women in the front of the car, and men in the back. The roads were absolutely jammed with cars returning to Dohuk from picnicing, and as we got closer to where the road turned to the city, authorities were routing traffic around to the right, which we knew would take another 45 minutes, when if you were allowed to go left down the straight path, you would be in Dohuk in 15 minutes. Luckily, Iraq treats her women with some deference. A male is not to be insulting to a female, or he insults every male in her family. All I needed to do was smile and point left, and say "Dohuk, Dohuk" and look a bit befuddled, and the very nice gentleman decided that I would be allowed to cut through the roadblock and signaled to the next man to allow me through, and we all cheered in great relief.

Back in Dohuk, I collapsed on the bed after learning the traditional ways that different sects pray with the prayer rugs that are left in most "hotels" for guests. The rest of my night followed the day with a state of blissfulness that is near impossible to describe, the kind that comes with a grace and sweetness when you are in the hands of another culture, realizing once again that the human heart is basic in its needs the world over.

Photoblogging my way to Sulymania/Pt.1-(Promise to keep)

2005-11-04T10:05:00.000+03:00

In July my trip to Iraq landed me in various places. Sandstorms were terrible, and flights from Jordan into Iraq were cancelled day after day. Being stuck in Amman can be maddening, when you are trying to get into Iraq, but I've developed a certain, difficult to explain fondness for Amman. That gets its own post though.

Well finally, I arrived in Iraq. I spent some time first in Kirkuk, which I very much loved. I couldn't exactly walk the streets in the daytime, but I enjoyed being in an Iraqi home, and eating the most delicious food, and connecting my laptop to the phone line for dial-up (which wasn't so bad actually). I got my first taste of Arak, (Iraq's native alcohol) which a US Marine had generously warned me NEVER to drink, said it was like drinking gasoline. (Being a Marine, it's likely he tried to drink it straight.) I, however, enjoyed it-mixed with water, it tastes like anise, or as I said "like drinking black jellybeans"! (It's a bit over 100F in this photo..taken a bit before midnight.)

Before this trip, I had been e mailing back and forth with Michael Yon for some time. We had talked about meeting up to tour Sulymania together, as he hadn't been to that part of the Kurdish region, but he was feeling uneasy about his means to get there. Those of you that read his last post know why. It wasn't meant to be, but I promised to catalog my trip there for him. And while I'm at it, blogging will be heavy this week with the Constitutional referendum upcoming, but remember one of the reasons that it will be able to be held, is because of the bravery of many, many people. Yon has brought us the stories of Americans and Iraqis, and for that many of us are thankful. Please go hit his tip jar so he can keep reporting. Also, while I will be blogging more, I'll continue to tell you to go see the IRAQI bloggers for the best news. That's your first hand guide. The rest of us are second to the people on the ground. If the blogosphere has taught us anything in the past two years, that's surely been one of the major lessons.

We had a fantastic 1 am family meal that was delicious! We had curried lamb, and an amazing dish that is now tied with teshreeb and syrian cuzi as my favorite fare, that is a handmade thin and crispy pastry crust filled with pilau (rice-with all the spices that make it taste amazing) and wonderful balls of lamb that are like treasures among the rice and raisins (these aren't your normal raisins!) plus the traditional Iraqi bbq....this time chicken.

Heat in Iraq in July is so intense that your body temperature rises as you eat, your body is trying to cool itself and metabolize food at the same time, and this causes you to feel as though you are overheating in the most terrible way! This is part of the reason that these two meals were so wonderful, as the electricity was up and working for the 4 pm meal, so we had air conditioning, and the 1 am meal was eaten outside, on the patio. And for dessert, and any time in between, pastry rolled with iraqi dates inside....no words for that!

I was able to go out into Kirkuk at night, and the place was hopping! 10 pm, I'm needing water and ibuprofen and there are still people all over the place. Hit a road block where police were breaking up some large fight. Though I'd have loved to take photos, that's another liability in Iraq. You can't afford to take photos of things that are violent in nature, as you may be suspected as a terrorist, or supporter (unless you are embedded-like Yon is), and I also try to keep a low profile to protect my Iraqi guides, who put their lives on the line just by being with me.

In Iraq, especially in summer, the hours kept are very different from ours. Usual waking time is 10am, then breakfast at 11-12. A large supper at 4-5 pm, and dinner at 12-1 am. Sleep is anywhere between 2-4 am until 10 am again. Everyone sleeps in a large room, (like this one) or on rooftops. The largest room is usually equipped with an air conditioner and an air cooler, and is closed off to keep it cool (relatively speaking of course...85F feels very cool after constant temps over 100F). This helps to make things bearable. Electricity went off for a few hours at a time, a few times a night, to save when it is needed least, so you'd sleep in cool, wake hot, and then hear the electricity kick back in again and back to sleep.

The first day from Kirkuk, we drove off to Sulymania. I was excited, it was the one part of Kurdistan I hadn't yet seen. So here is the trip from Kirkuk to Suly.

Coming out of Kirkuk, you can see the old castle on your right up on the hillside.

Tents on the roadside from a refugee group of displaced Kurds waiting to get back into Kirkuk.

Dust devils, you can see one on the left, faint, saw more than one, but they were elusive to capture on the digital.

Goats running down the road, a common site here. The sign reads on the first line:
"End of tahweela" (tahweela =temporary change in road path due to construction)
The second line says "to Sulymaniya" in both Arabic and Kurdish.

Now we start coming into Sulymaniya....so that's part 2.

Photoblogging to Sulymania/Pt.2

2005-11-04T10:00:00.000+03:00

Now I'm getting closer and closer to Sulymania and the change begins to become obvious in the scenery. (Clicking on the photos will give you a fuller view if you wish.)

The thing that you feel the most here is that it is a city of the people. I don't know how else to explain that, but in Suly, there are not so many "iconic" images of political and religious figures. They have their place, sure, but it's not on the side of every building. There is an amazing amount of construction, the signs of a growing economy. The landscaping is pretty coming in towards the city part of the region, with these murals on the walls, and greenery.

The marketplace is incredibly busy, traffic is jammed. In fact, it reminds me a bit of what I imagine early Amman might have looked like (those electrical wires though, they are everywhere in Iraq and you feel like the entire place may catch on fire from an electrical issue at any time!). I am in a part of Iraq where I feel safe to walk in a marketplace, where the modern blends with the traditional.

There are people in western clothes, people in traditional Kurdish dress, where a woman entwines grape leaves on the sidewalk, while hundreds walk by on their mobile phones. This is a place where you can see all kinds of people living harmoniously. And it makes you feel optimism, it makes you feel the possibilities for this country.

Look at the dress for example of the people in the photo below. There is one man in the background that is dressed in Kurdish dress. The rest are all dressed in a more westernized style.

The more I am in Iraq, the more I see this, granted it is more prevalent in the cities, Baghdad and north, but there is a mix of women in headscarves and women in tight jeans and tops, and women in classy clothing that we here call in our working environments "dress casual". It's more noticeable in the women honestly. The men, well pretty much any male under 30 is in jeans of some sort. Then there is a mix between "professional" dress and casual and traditional in some areas regarding the men over 30. It really depends mostly on where you are, and what you are doing.

As I walked through the marketplace, I enjoyed gazing at all of the shops. There was everything you can imagine there, just as in any large marketplace in the world. But more, really, I was enjoying gazing at the people. I was enjoying that I was in a marketplace, in Iraq, that the heat was stifling and I didn't care, that I was experiencing something that most people just get to dream about. One of the most enjoyable things to watch is Iraqis haggling. I've gotten so used to it now, that I am horrified if we don't walk away from a place at least once before coming back to barter more. It's really a game in which there are many factors. People are trying to sense each others' weaknesses. Also, the amount that the businessman will make deals with you depends on great degree how his business is. Can he afford to let you walk out thinking you may not come back? Have you let him know how very much you desire that item? It's a game of bluffing, played all over the world, in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East, that is foreign to most Americans.

It started getting late, and it was time to head back to Kirkuk for the night. I had taken this photo of some boys playing soccer in the street when first getting into Suly, and I thought of it now as the sun started to set.

For me, the day was waning....

But for these kids, their future is at it's dawn. And in Sulymania, it's looking bright indeed.

Valour IT-ARMY!

2005-11-03T17:18:00.000+03:00

With Blackfive's post on Project Valour IT up, I am getting to choose a winning side no matter which I choose!

Providing our injured troops with voice activated laptops is a fantastic way to speed healing. Anyone who has ever lived with a severe injury, disease, or similar medical issue knows how closely the mental state of a patient is tied to the physical. If you can help improve their mental state, they can more easily improve their physical state. And here is a way that you can help do just that!

Still it was a hard choice for me which branch to support... Working with the Marines a lot made me a Marines supporter for life. And then there are three Navy members in the family. But I've got to go with my family history, and with my current family members serving. All ARMY. My grandfather was an Army WW2 vet, (and I have the original German pistol he got there so as not to forget), my Uncle and my Father both served in the Army-(my dad in reserves), and I have two brothers in law in the Army (one in Iraq-(below), and one in DC). So for all of them, and all of the troops out there, I'm donating. I hope you will too.

Iraq still needs. And America grows weary.

2005-11-02T20:54:00.000+03:00

I was explaining this to a few people of late, both Iraqis and Americans. One was an Iraqi that thought there might be some support for programs that are essentially “private microfinance”, in other words, people here buying products made there in order to help the economy and also get a good product back for their input. I had to tell him that the audience here is much more limited for supporting that kind of thing than it was even one year ago.

One was an American gentleman that is in the beginning stages of a non-profit startup. When I explained to him the problem, he said, “Wow, that’s just what I heard from the lady that runs another non- profit that supplies soldiers with things from energy bars to toothpaste. And she’s got two sons in Iraq, and it’s depressing her that people and companies no longer want to give the way they did in the past.” “How did you know that?” How? I’m an American, and I’m in touch with the military community, Iraqis, non-profit world, and the blogosphere in one way or another daily.

What I told him was this. It’s harder than ever to get funding for projects in Iraq now. Here’s why:

-We are more of an impatient, short term, instant gratification society than we used to be.

-Americans are looking at almost three years of being in Iraq and all that most of them see is “nothing has really changed much” (they are looking only at levels of violence-there's a reason for that, but that's another post). Meanwhile, they are still having taxes going to be used in Iraq (and that money does NOT just fuel the military, it fuels all kinds of civil programs there which are designed to get Iraqis working and learning, which is very important, but undervalued in the press).

-Many Americans have given, more than once, during the first two years of OIF and are “done” with it mentally. The thought goes, “I gave to that charity, and that one, and I’m still giving through taxes to Iraq.”

-Natural disasters. The tsunami happened. Katrina happened. The earthquake happened. When these disasters occur, all funds are immediately frozen and re-allocated within the government. Things like shipping over items for Universities in Iraq, which was a program that the State Dept was part of, get all of their funds for that frozen and stripped to help alleviate whatever is determined to be the highest priority need of the moment. Plus, people themselves give to these worthy causes as well, and that means that there’s only a limited supply of cash to go around from the everyday people that make up a lot of the support base for non-profits and disaster relief agencies.

All of this means to me that the needed people are not making a good case for Iraq, for why we are there, or what our soldiers are doing, or how we envision it could be, based on real examples of change, if we are patient. Note to people in DC: Yes, yes, the enemy is strong and determined but we are more so…blah, blah, blah. This is AMERICA, people want to hear something NEW. Even if it isn’t new because it just hasn't gotten play, make it sound new! For crying out loud, marketing isn't that different from politics, and in fact plays a hefty role in it, like it or not. Reality is, the blogosphere is still limited, though its potential is not. I personally know more people that still watch the MSM for their news, and I know a heck of a lot of bloggers, so that tells me something. Corporations often don’t give where Iraq is concerned, even in support of our troops, because they are afraid of being politically labeled.

Our military deserves better from her people. We ought to ask ourselves what is truly at stake here? And pick a side. And then support it, and know that it will be like having a child. It may need to be supported for years. But at the end, you get the joy of watching them fly away to self-fulfillment and a life of their own, learning personal responsibility and the joy that can come with that.

And isn’t that what we all want to leave behind from our time on this earth? Something more than just us, than our careers, our money, our material goods? Something that reaches into history. Something that long after we have died, leaves even one person’s life better. Something that makes a difference.

You can still make one. And you are still needed in this. More now than ever.

Calling attention to our differences...

2005-11-01T17:35:00.000+03:00

I’ve always held that it does no good to measure people by their ethnic, racial, gender, or religious lines. Understanding how those things may have an effect on a person can be helpful. Measuring the person by it, that’s just plain ignorant.

The more attention you call to your differences, the more you isolate yourself, and bring about your own victimization. I’ve had a reader here that has e mailed me about “women’s rights”. I’m not the spokesperson for this, as anyone who knows me can tell you. I’ve long worked from a young age in male dominated fields of work if you were to speak statistically. Why are some women successful in these areas, while others feel “held back”? 9/10 of it is your personality. I’m lucky that I’ve gotten to experience what I have in the past year and a half. But I’ve worked for it, and I’ve never, ever felt like being a female holds me back from what I want to do. I might hold myself back, but that has everything to do with me as a person, not me as a female.

This I mostly attribute to my father and grandfather, who when I was 4 years of age, and wanted to learn how to cross country ski so that I could follow them into the woods, not only taught me, but encouraged me. Then, in years following, as I went with them on long treks I would get the warning first. “You can come, but you have to keep up, and there is to be no complaining.” I hiked my first mountain at age 2 (Mt. Monadnock). I insisted on walking up by myself and promptly fell so dead asleep at the top that my grandfather made a litter to carry me down in, as they couldn’t wake me. I always was a bit stubborn. And I was never ever told, “girls don’t’ do that.” Therefore, I didn’t look at myself as a girl first. I looked at myself as a capable human being. And personal responsibility was a matter of pride in an old New England Yankee family.

I like to share my experiences in Iraq, not because I think I’m some great person for having been there, I think I’m damned lucky, but because I want other Americans to know what I’ve seen there. However, the real credit goes to the people that are in there defending my rights that allow me to have become who I am, and do the things I do. That’s our military, and their immediate families, who often get the short end of the stick when talking about sacrifice. Everyone knows it is harder to risk the life of one you truly deeply love for something than it is to risk your own life. Every parent that would give themselves in a second for their child, every husband or wife that would take a bullet rather than see their beloved in pain knows what I’m talking about.

Anyhow, the point is that I have heard many times “it’s so violent over there, and you are a woman!” Er, thanks, I was unaware of that. You know, actually, being a female probably carries much more advantage in a country like Iraq than being a male does. Not that I ever thought of that until I started this conversation, but looking on it now, I can see where many things were easier for me than they would be for a male, particularly in the culture there.

I’m a woman. But I am Kerry first. And with Kerry lies all of the responsibility for decisions made, the successes and the failure, the setbacks and the disappointments and the things got right. Not one of those things will I ever blame on being female.

Do you think Rosa Parks looked at herself first as a black woman? Or maybe first as a human being that was taking personal responsibility for her rights. She knew it was because of the color of her skin, sure. And I know that there are some things that I’m denied because of my gender. But I don’t wail about it. I just keep moving towards the goal. All kinds of roadblocks get in our way in life. We don’t need to create any extras.

A longtime annoyance......

2005-11-01T15:12:00.000+03:00

About the war in Iraq; it was a war with Iraqi government until the regime was overthrown. It is not since, “a war with Iraq”, unless you like to say it is a war with Iraq because we are fighting together. It is a war against terrorists. The war IN Iraq, fine. I’ve got a brother in law serving in that war, and a war it is, but let us be clear on who the common enemy is.

My brother in law, an Army Major currently in Ramadi sent me a photo yesterday of himself and the other 9 Army MI guys that are currently training one of the Iraqi Divisions. In the photo, there are ten US soldiers, and the four Iraqi soldiers that work hand in hand with them in the training of the Divisions and they are standing under a sign that has all of their names on it, with both the US and Iraqi flags hanging from it. And below that the sign says “terrorists suck!”.

I’ve got Iraqis and Americans I care about in the middle of this war.

It’s called the War on Terror. Now please, can we dispense with the “no war against Iraq” bumper stickers?

I'm not the only one.....

2005-10-26T08:24:00.000+03:00

That thinks it's better security to travel "under the radar" apparently....

As Promised....

2005-10-21T22:23:00.000+03:00

I took these as I walked...between the greens of life, the yellows of melancholy, and the reds of passion.....I love autumn and yet it's beauty weighs heavy on me....as winter draws nearer and I'm seeking warmth, and the promises of spring.

Saddam's trial...stream of conciousness...

2005-10-21T04:11:00.000+03:00

It's January of 91, and I'm watching the beginning of Operation Desert Storm. I've no idea what it is like to be in a war other than the Cold War in my lifetime. I will look back 14 years later and wish I'd gone and joined the military. I always thought I'd never be any good at it, as I've got a bit of a rebellious streak. Of course now I'm old enough to know that those usually turn out to be good military types. Someone strong to be broken and still be standing after.

It is late 1990's, almost 2000. My father is dying, and I spend a lot of time reading while I am caring for him. I finally get to read some books written by Freya Stark that I've been wanting to read for years that contain vivid descriptions of early Iraq, when the state is first created. I devour them, and become intrigued by the land and the people described, in a way that feels different from anything that I have read before.

It's early 2003. I know what is coming in Iraq, and I'm waiting for it. I'm listening to every Iraqi expat I can to try and find out what their opinions are.

It's April 9, 2003. And who does not think of Saddam on that day, as the statue is pulled down? We think of him, yes, as defeated and destroyed. The statue is just a symbol, but a powerful one indeed.

It's November of 2003. I'm reading Iraqi blogs as they start popping up, and I'm addicted. It's the only way I want to hear news on Iraq, good or bad, from the people living it.

It's September of 2004. I'm having lunch with Iraqis at a place in DC. They are from all over Iraq; Basra, Baghdad, Kirkuk, Sulymania....one of them knows someone I know in Baghdad. It's a small world, and for me it's getting smaller daily. I hold the hands of a woman I've never met before over the table, as tears roll down our faces, while she tells me of the sufferings of her family from Saddam. I call her a woman, she is only 23 years old, but she has lived lifetimes compared to most women I know. She is an interpreter for the US Army. Her sister shot dead by the terrorists only months before, because they thought it was her, and she is considered an 'infidel', working for the Americans. She went right back to work. She says, "I will not let them win." She speaks with absolute passion about America. When I ask her, "what would help Iraq the most?" she answers without hesitation, "bring them here, especially the young ones, my age, and show them what freedom is like, show them how hard people work here but also what they get for that, and how they live, and show them what is possible, for we can't imagine that which we have never seen." I tell her that there is a very big concern that doing that would only encourage them to leave, because once they have seen an easier life, they will try to get out and not stay to help Iraq. She cries, "No!" and many at the table join in with her and state that Iraqis will not do this, they will not leave their country, and those that do, always return there. I can understand this, as an American if my country needed me I would not leave, and if I were away and she needed me, I would come. The man next to me says, as he sees us talking, "you must understand this...everyone, everyone in Iraq has friends or family that has been killed by this regime." He told me that his extended family (which can be quite large in Iraq) had 12 killed.

At this point, I'm thinking that my country needs me not so much here, as maybe I'm needed in another place.

October 2004....another meeting, this one tells me something certain. Some of us are just taken with a specific culture or people. My brother in law loves Africa and its people. People think he's crazy. So, call me crazy....

March 2005....I land in Iraq, finally. I feel at home. So, call me crazy again.

For so many Iraqis, Saddam causes feelings of pain, hatred, fear, and suffering, I know that too well, as I have seen many tears shed from it, and worse are the ones that are not shed because the pain is past tears. He is, however, made of flesh and bone, and like all humans, can be hurt or killed, though I think that what will kill him the most will be humiliation.

So, really, when I see Saddam, I see what brought me to where I am today.....and though I wish more than anything that Iraq had not to go through what she has been through these past years, especially the past 15 years....I am quite aware Saddam, in some way, changed my life when he changed others...

In even the very worst cases of evil....if something good can come of it, then evil has not won, and justice will be served. I was just trying to be a tiny piece of the good for a few people, which turned out to be nothing when compared to what they've given me.

Aasha Al-Iraq......Lelabad.

Iraq-Word on the Street

2005-10-16T07:37:00.000+03:00

Friends from Baghdad to Erbil (Shia, Kurd, and Sunni) today had this to say:

"It's the quietest I've heard it even since January." -(extremely notable in Baghdad)
"The terrorists did not attack today because they wanted the Sunni to come out and vote no, in hopes of it making a divide....but it will not."
"Everyone is happy to vote, even if they are confused on their feelings of the draft."

Either way, this vote was a success. Because, either way, everyone's interests will get served (though I tend to believe that they'll get served sooner with a yes vote than a no, but only since there was agreement to amend the Constitution this week).

Here's what I'm waiting for....from the MSM....ready? I'm telling you, it's coming if it hasn't already. (Keep reading all of the Iraqi blogs for the ground view, the reporting has been amazing!)

"It's widely believed that the reason for the relative quiet (not success-they won't use that word) in Iraq's referendum vote is that the Sunni, who make up a large part of the insurgency in Iraq were out voting today." (-insunating that if the Sunni don't get their way in the vote, you watch, the insurgency will start right up again)

As opposed to the reality, which, as far as I can tell is more like this:

"Today's success in Iraq's referendum vote was in large part because the terrorists hope to divide the country, and were counting on a "no" vote from the Sunni to help them do it, which means that they didn't try to destabilize large areas of Sunni voters. However, if the overall vote is a "no" on the Constitution, another interim government would be elected, which, although it would be a time setback, wouldn't be all that much different than what is going to happen anyhow, which is an inclusion of all interested parties in the process that are willing to work through compromises needed to form a permanent government and Constitution ."

Zarquawi's worst nightmare came true when the Sunni based Islamic Party had the courage to push forward and get themselves involved enough by showing their willingness to compromise and thus his options for causing a descent into civil war by division of the sects in the country were greatly hurt.

One more mile down on the race to liberty and self rule of law for Iraq.

To Iraq, with Love

2005-10-15T21:10:00.000+03:00

To my Iraqi friends:

One hour since polls closed and I'm thinking of you. I hope that you all are safe and most of all I wish for you to savor the freedom you have worked so very hard for, and to thank you for being my friends, my guides, my educators, from Erbil to Kirkuk to Baghdad and beyond, I thank you for allowing me to share your journey. You've opened your homes, your kitchens, shared your children, your lives, your hearts with me, and I will always be grateful.

To our American Soldiers in Iraq:

First, to my brother in law in Ramadi, and to his family for their sacrifices, thank you.
To all of the other soldiers there, especially the Marines and Army guys who I was privledged to work with so much of last year.....thank you. Thank you all for protecting two things dear to my heart, our way of life, (my family here) and the rights of others to enjoy the same freedoms (my family in Iraq).

To Iraqi Soldiers:

Thank you. You are now standing with my brother in law in Ramadi, and your lives depend on each others actions daily. And we've seen the price you pay to choose this work, to be the guardians and warriors for your country. You are filled with a high charge. Iraq's future depends more on you than on the politicians in some ways. First rule to have law and order is "secure the area". You are the first line of defense of the laws that will rule your nation in upcoming years. I thank you, both for your work with my country's soldiers and for your protection of all my loved ones in Iraq.

Iraq Will Shame Us Again.......

2005-10-14T04:19:00.000+03:00

By voter turnout for the Constitutional referendum being even higher than it was in January's elections, and thus higher % wise than any vote we've had in recent history here.

Yes, the title for the post is a play on words-wrought from an argument I had with a very strong dissenter of our foreign policy (nice guy, can't hold his own in a debate, fellow school parent, he's a professor in sociology, enough said?) before, during, and after the January elections in Iraq. He didn't believe me when I repeatedly professed my faith that the elections in January would yield a high turnout despite the fact that much of Anbar province wouldn't vote (heck Fallujah was just barely being rebuilt from November's Ops at that point). When he asked me how high, and I said as high as 70%, he scoffed. After the counts were coming in, and it looked like high 60 percentiles, he said "not quite the 70's% you thought, was it?" I, in turn said, "higher than the turnout for our last election, and any one in recent memory, and we don't have to brave death to vote, rather puts it in perspective doesn't it?"

If there ever was an "every person can make a difference" story, Iraq is it. There are people that have been working tirelessly in and out of the political arena to make things work that have made this compromise come to fruition that will never be known.....except by the way that the next generations get to live....

Is this your view of Iraq? Christians and Muslims make music and friendships in a school band. Because before they are either of those, they are kids first.

Whether a shepherd's son, or city kids, they are the future, and they can hold their traditions and customs while allowing for freedom among them, if only their elders continue creating and keeping the balance in the coming years. They are certainly proving to the world right now that they are willing to give their lives to try to make it work. And many of us are grateful and proud to have been witness to this. Count me among them.

Traveling Jordan-1 year later

2005-10-13T16:25:00.000+03:00

A year ago today I took my first trip out of Amman to Petra. It was, in many ways, the first day of the rest of my life. It changed me. A friend here had told me that going to Petra was a spiritual experience for him, and that he didn't expect it. He had absolutely forbid me to leave the country without going. I had a meeting to attend to that gave me that chance, leaving me with a day free in between meetings, so I went.

It was the way the light played on the ancient rocks....ethereal. Europe feels historical, it's so old compared to America. But the Middle East feels spiritual, knowing that you are walking on places that others have walked on for thousands of years gives a different context to life.

There are caves everywhere in Petra, and I wanted to explore all of them...

The rock differs in coloration and formation as you walk along. You see more reds in some places, more muted colors of the desert sand in others. But I can not explain the way that I felt, in parts it was almost like being in an outdoor cathedral, and life was simple for moments and my soul was singing.

It was almost as if by being taken so far out of my normal life experience it allowed me to remember who I was, on a very base human level. And for a day I felt free, from the running about, from the grind of working, from my thoughts. For the moment I was just soaking up the wonder of being alive. Of how alike we really all are, more than we are different.

And then you come to this. This is the celebrated Khazneh (meaning treasury). It is by far the most recognizable image of Petra. It truly is so much more impressive in life than can be captured in photos. The detail is amazing, more so when you think of how it actually would have had to have been done.
I was saddened though, by the stands there selling tourist trinkets. There is the requisite camel that is laying in front as well. The camel was fine, but I felt that the feeling of being purely in a place where you felt part of history was ruined a bit by the touristy market stalls down in this area. I wish they'd keep all of those for the beginning/end of where you come in, at the visitors center.

Since then I've been back to Jordan many times. On my most recent trip I went to the Dead Sea between stops. It seems hard for me to believe that the first time I went I was briefed on how to catch the difference between Al-Q operatives and Jordanian Intel. It all seems rather odd to me now, as I have become comfortable in Jordan. And as I looked out over the Dead Sea to Israel, I couldn't help but remember that really, it is quite a small world that we share. I'm grateful to have had a chance to taste both sides, east and west, and to live in the best country in the world, yes I love the Middle East, but I love my America. Some say we are so far apart. I say we are closer than people know.

Happy 8th Birthday!

2005-10-12T15:52:00.000+03:00

To my son, Brendan!

The news IS out there...if you dare to find it

2005-10-12T11:57:00.000+03:00

This post at Michael Totten's made me nod so hard my neck hurt.

I've heard similar things myself every time I've gone to Iraq. Now I know Iraq isn't Hezbollah HQ. However, like this, it's based on a large information gap that most Americans just aren't in the loop on.

The last time I was in NY (last month), I was having a discussion with some members of the NY Tech Meetup Group. I was the only one that had been to Iraq. We were having a discussion surrounding technology and how it translates to societies that aren't as technologically advanced. There were still people there that were astonished to know that Iraq had net cafes even in the marshes of Basra. There were people that said that people in 3rd world countries didn't rely on technology the way that we do, and because of that there are primitive ways of communicating that are in place that work better. (This was based on a discussion of the communication breakdown during Katrina's wake.) Anyhow, one thing led to another, and someone asked me the first question.

First thing almost everyone says when they hear that I've been to Iraq. "So, you're military then?"

Second, when they find out I'm not: "Aren't you scared?"

Third, when I've told them that more of the country than not is actually secure when broken into provinces....
"Yeah but.........."

Anyhow, the questioning then leads to this, for which I am honestly grateful. "So what's your view of things over there?"

But then, they don't always really want to listen to your view if it doesn't jive with theirs. Because then someone's world would have to spin into grays and not black and whites, which are much more comfortable to deal with. The reality is gray.

In this discussion we ended up somehow getting off on a tangent. As I recall, I re-told the story of when I was there on the second anniversary of OIF. Of how American flags were flown next to Iraqi and Kurdish ones on that day. Of how people said to me "thank you, thank you" all day if they knew I was American. Of how I came back to where I was staying that night to a television blaring reports of anti-war protests in London, in NY, in DC on that date marking the anniversary of the beginning of OIF.

Then people say, "well why don't we hear that here?" "I mean, you are telling me this happened, but I never saw it reported!" To which I always respond, "why do you think?" I, for one, actually do not think that in many cases it is deliberate in regards to Iraq. No, you heard me, I am not blaming it on media bias. Not because I think there is none, but because I think that it isn't the largest contributing factor.

(-Note to both sides-dispense with the blame game-blame the media, blame the corporations, blame the power bases, blame Soros, blame Rove, it doesn't do a damned thing to convince someone that you are able to listen to their viewpoint when you do that, you might as well stop right there....not to speak of the valuable time and energy that could be put to use DOING something about how you feel....but I digress.)

Back to my answer on why I think nobody sees that kind of story.

I think that it is simply that most foreigners in Iraq are in one of two places. They are either in the "zone" (green, international, whatever you want to call it), or they are embedded with the military. Now, if you are in the zone, you DO have the opportunity to talk to Iraqis (plenty of them live and work there), but there are a few issues there. One, most of them won't talk to you if you are press, especially television, for fear of being killed in retaliation. Two, there is an inherent assumption that because they work in the green zone, they don't represent Iraq-(odd, popular elected officials are housed there, but somehow, they don't represent Iraq). Three, the language barrier is a hard one to overcome. Same with the Military, but different problems. The first issue is the same, there is a fear of being seen talking with the Military. It was not like that in the beginning of OIF, but today, many more Iraqis are worried about terrorist spies. The second issue is close as well, inherent assumption that if they are talking to the military, then they are supportive of OIF, so why bother questioning them.

Drill down one more level. Mix with the people directly. Dangerous, yes, it can be, if you don't do your homework, and you don't have trusted people. As an American, I know that I'm a commodity there. I'm worth money to terrorists, who have it in spades in a lot of cases, and as always, the lure of money is powerful. There is also the inherent assumption that every American is "rich" by Middle Eastern middle class standards. And, there's the hope that as an American, possibly you have some pull and can get them into the US, and some people will try to use you for that (can't say I blame them there, I love my country, and I can understand that people who have lived in that stress want a vacation, sometimes a permanent one from it). You have to test relationships. I tend to be a pretty trusting person, and thus have gotten myself burned a few times already in the Middle East, luckily, a few small burns teach you to stay away from fire quite quickly.

I'm also quick to say that the terrorism there is worrisome to me. There was a particular thread of this conversation that came to me first when I was reading Totten's post above. It was when this gentleman said to me, "we have talks with Hezbollah and Iranian and Syrian governments, and we know that they are committing atrocities, so why don't we talk with Zarqawi?"....I couldn't get words out quickly enough. My voice was shaking. "You don't have 'talks' with someone who has absolutely no agenda except to kill you, he doesn't want to have 'talks', he isn't a head of state, or a political body, elected or self appointed....we are dealing with realities here, not hypotheticals, and reality tends to be shades, yes we deal with people that we don't approve of (to put it mildly in some cases), we exhaust diplomatic options first where available, why do you think there were 12 years of UN resolutions regarding Iraq?" "But you do not, and can not 'talk' to someone who has out and out declared to your face that all they want is to kill you." By the end of the conversation, there was one question left from the guy I was talking to, and it wasn't the first time I've heard this question either.

"How come you'll tell me this, but the Administration doesn't?"

To which my first response is always "that's a fair question....but, ask yourself...would you listen if they did?"

I think that our government (note I don't say the Administration, since it isn't just "their policy", last I checked Congress backed OIF legislation) has done a lousy job talking about our foreign policy. DoD blames State, and State blames DoD, and round and round they go. Same with the Administration and Congress.

But, I also think that it's not the government's job to educate you on what's really going on in the world. Educate yourself. The information is right there....literally at your fingertips.

On Iraq's Constitutional Referendum Agreement

2005-10-12T06:17:00.000+03:00

Well by now you all have heard the news about Iraq's new agreement. Publius has all the details.

Just goes to show you what I said yesterday about the very complex way that deals are made in Iraq, and the Middle East. There is a mix of pride, money, staging, bravado, desire for one's goals, power plays, and generally a final calculation at the very last moment of how much one has to lose/gain! (My happiness is making me compare this to a marketplace barter...but really I'm more than aware of the importance.)

Really though, I've got to say that on this one, I've had more faith than some of my Iraqi friends. They have been living it, and when seen from the outside, it seemed to me to be pointless on both sides for things to have remained where they were. Kudos to all involved, if they can hold it together for the next few days, and if they can get the word out quickly enough to the entire Sunni population that they want them to er, completely change their vote.....okay, I'm just being flippant! Really, I doubt that most of the Sunni population would have been led like sheep. Some, to be sure, but most? Those who say that, don't know the Sunni so well I think. Now I think the country has a really great chance to go somewhere, I always have. I'll feel better after the next round of elections though. Until then, I have confidence in all of the Iraqi people that worked so hard to make this happen, and even more so in the people every day there that don't get any credit for the behind the scenes work they are doing to make their country move along the path to being not just the place of the birth of civilization, but the birth of a new civilization.....

One that we can welcome into the fold of peaceful yet resolved nations. Iraqis are good and loyal friends to have.

Happiness is not a right.........

2005-10-09T15:03:00.000+03:00

Among all of the regular craziness of life with two boys, two dogs, work, and a house to keep running, I've been battling internally.

I feel these days often the desire to be rebellious, I'm angry, I'm alternately depressed and then incredibly motivated in short bursts.

I was talking to one of my close friends in Iraq about this in the past week. Most of it I attribute to trying to do the 'responsible' thing in life at the moment, and in doing that, I have to chain the person I found underneath. I recently wrote this in a journal that I've been keeping:

I want to feel the fear
I want to feel the fight
At least then I would have something to rage against
Instead of this deathly silent wait

I've been working with people involved in life and death situations every moment of every day for the past year plus. I've felt gratified that I was allowed these opportunities more than once. But more than gratified, I realized that I was driven to make those opportunites without even realizing it, just by following my instincts and passions.

"I'm miserable!" I wailed to my friend. (Yes, I know, sounds rather insensitive for someone talking with someone in Iraq, doesn't it? But truly it is a testimony to the closeness of our friendship.) The response was, "well we aren't supposed to be happy all the time are we?"

I remember my system taking this sentence in like a shock wave. "But, but, but" I was thinking, "I want to be happy, I've experienced happiness, and why, why, why do I have to give it up"?

Two years ago I was in a completely different life situation. As a mother, I've always taken my responsibilities very seriously in that area. Maybe a bit too much, which led to my running just the other direction. Then I found myself with another family. One that seemed to understand me in a way that mine did not. I like to think that I'm a "gray" person. Meaning I can think more easily big picture, and medium tones than blacks and whites. And here I was thinking completely black and white. All or nothing. No balance. Keeping balance can be exhausting. I can compartmentalize well when it's work. But when it becomes emotional, that ability goes out the window for me. And when you have emotion of any sort involved in your work, it can do two things. It can skew your ability to do your job well, and it can inspire you to do things above and beyond anything you've ever done before.

But, the larger thing is that it reminded me of a conversation I've had with more than a few people. About America, and our culture. It used to be, that happiness was found in even the most mundane daily tasks. It used to be the pride of keeping your family fed and your kids clothed, and being involved in your community, and you WORKED FOR HAPPINESS. You worked for those fleeting moments, because they reminded you what all the work was for. You had pride because you worked.

What has happened to America that we all think we deserve happiness? The media says it is just there, constantly only just out of our grasp. I have been applauded more in the past year for my accomplishments by society than I can remember since I was in my early twenties. I was NEVER applauded by society for my choice to stay at home with my kids, sacrificing my own intellectual stimulation and drive, sacrificing material goods, financial security. But, leave my kids to go traveling all over the place? "Wow, you are amazing!" Amazing. All I was sacrificing then was what I swore I'd never to do to my kids the way it has been done to me. I sacrificed their well being and happiness every single day for my own. And I grew more and more confused. Why couldn't I have it all? Why couldn't I be happy?

Precisely because I was looking for just that. Having it all. And sometimes, you can't. And sometimes you make decisions at the wrong time in your life. And it sucks. And you pay for those mistakes. Yes, you pay. You have to make uncomfortable choices. And either way the choice hurts like hell. It's not supposed to be that way. It's supposed to be clear and simple. Right and wrong.

That's not real life. Real life is more complex. It's nice to know now that I picked the wrong time in life to do many things, that I knew more who I was and what I wanted to be in HIGH SCHOOL than as a twentysomething. But I did what I did. And I have to lie in that bed. I can make it as comfortable as possible. Or I can whine about it.

The pursuit of happiness is one thing. It is constant. The finding and keeping of it, the balancing your own happiness with that of the others in your life, is quite another.

Missing the Middle East....

2005-10-01T13:56:00.000+03:00

It's October today, which hardly seems possible. Where I live is at its most beautiful this time of year, and I'm running tomorrow in the Maine Marathon (doing a relay leg-10K), and it is supposed to be perfect weather. The leaves are turning, the sugar maples getting fiery red, and it's getting colder during the nights, when you enjoy putting a fire in the fireplace, but can still walk in the day dressed in jeans and a shirt and feel perfect in temperature. It's my favorite time of year in New England.

And I'm missing the Middle East. I've been reading Michael Totten's blog, as he's landed safely in Lebanon. October marks a year since I first started traveling to the Middle East, I now have 18 stamps (9 each of entry and exit) on my passports from the area in one year. So, after Sunday's race, I'll be posting more on the "traveling series" from Iraq, but I'll also do one on Jordan, to mark the first time I landed there.

(Let me add here a big thanks to Blackfive for being all too generous to me, he'd do, and has done, more than I, everyone that works for and in Iraq, (and Jordan), quickly becomes a virtual team when a story like Mike Yon posts on Rhma comes up.)

I'm one very blessed person. I've gotten to do and see things that many don't, ever.
And I'm thankful for that. As I get older, I learn a little more about how following your passions lead to better performance, and more contentment. You can see that all around the blogosphere, so many bloggers have landed jobs that they love, and fit, with their committment to writing about what they care for so much.

Here's where I'm at.......

And here's what I'm missing.......

The people and ideals that I love. That's what will continue to lead me to the places I'll go.

2005-09-18T17:45:00.000+04:00

Taking it out of context......

2005-09-16T06:30:00.000+04:00

It's not often that anything I read keeps me up at night. But last night was different.

Let me tell you why........I had what was a very disturbing thought process for me about Iraq yesterday. Okay, that's a gross understatement. It ate at me all day. It ate at my very insides. Because I had to face a truth. And that truth hurt me. Yet it is etched so deep that I had to accept though it seemed to defy everything that makes me who I am.

And when I read this last night, as I had been meaning to do for over a week, it couldn't have been more perfect timing. Because it gave me the tools to be able to make it into something I could put my head around. Here is the necessary part of the post to understand:

We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful. For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

"Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

"Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen: a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath--a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? Then you are a sheepdog, a warrior. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

He continues:

Let me expand on this old soldier's excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep.
The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog that intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

Okay, now that that's over. You noted the parts I put in bold, yes? I'm going to take Bill Whittle's fantastic post, and I'm going to take this theory, by the admirable Lt. Col. Grossman, and I'm going to take it out of context....purposefully. Because this part begs it to be: " The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog that intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours."

Ready? In this equation sheep are your average Iraqis, wolves are terrorists and ba'athists, and very, very important, sheepdogs are to be Iraq Security Forces members, IP, ING, and IA. (NOTE: Coalition forces are NOT sheepdogs in this equation yet, you'll see why.)

What happens in a place where the wolves have been allowed to assume the roles of sheepdogs for 40 years? And where now, today, nobody knows which sheepdogs are truly sheepdogs, and which are simply wolves in sheepdog skins?

A complete breakdown of trust. No trust, no law and order. No law and order, hence, parts of Iraq as you see them today. The reality for me to accept was that most people are sheep. While this is good and necessary, I just had never really faced it. And the second reality is that what I, what we, HAVE to deal with in Iraq is a place where there are wolves running amongst the sheepdogs. The sheep are so scared, they won't challenge a sheepdog that is nipping at their lamb, just in case it might be a wolf. Thus, the real sheepdogs aren't alerted to the wolves when they sneak into their midst.

Now, the flock is such a disaster, that we send in a new batch of sheepdogs. Let's say the ISF are Shepherd Dogs. And let's say that now we are going to introduce a new kind of sheepdog to the sheep. These sheepdogs are Border Collies (US forces and coalition). The sheep can recoginze them by their distinctive look and their intentions loudly declared by their actions. While the wolves can not hope to pass themselves off as Border Collies, they can still pass themselves off as Shepherd dogs. So why won't the sheep let the Border Collies know what the hell is going on with the wolves sneaking in amongst the Shepherd Dogs? Because the sheep's greatest fear is seeing their lambs hurt. And the wolves still hurt some lambs every once in awhile to be certain that the sheep remember what they are capable of.

The sheep trust the Border Collies. They know exactly what they will and will not do. The sheep won't trust Shephard Dogs again until they see them working with the Border Collies for some time. Only then will they believe that all of the Shepherd Dogs are fully committed to keeping the wolves from amongst them.

I, for one, am convinced that the number of wolves still in disguise as sheepdogs is vastly overexaggerated from so many years of people seeing the government, and in particular the military elements of it allowing this. The wolves keep up just enough to remind them. But try telling that to someone that's only alive because they've kept their head down and their nose out of others business for years. Iraqis do know each other, their friends, and their enemies. But they are very, very uncertain as to the identity of those who are supposed to be their guardians.

That's why we'll be there awhile. That's why the people won't talk when they know damn well that their neighbor is acting criminally. That's why they won't stand up. A very dear friend said to me in my frustration...."dear, you bring the kids here with you and then you report on one of these terrorists and return home here to wait after, can you do that?" I thought hard for a moment, I pictured my boys with me there, I, for a moment, pictured every parents' worst nightmare, and I felt the fear and adrenaline that comes with the idea of somone brutally hurting them, I forced myself to consider it honestly, and said, "yes, I could." "Because I would rather my children grew up knowing that I died for their freedom than to consign them to live like that." But you see, I'm an American. I've known the taste of freedom. And while I do believe that every human heart longs for it, I know that every human heart doesn't have the courage to pursue it. Especially after years and years of stress and violence. The reality is that every Iraqi needs to value freedom more than not just their lives, but their families. There are many, many brave Iraqis that are still trying, still struggling. All of our hopes are pinned on them, the true sheepdogs of Iraq.

That's what sheepdogs are for. I'm a sheepdog. And it shames me so much that there are wolves in my flock that I want to get on the first flight back there and hunt them down and get every one of them. Or die trying.

9/11....

2005-09-11T22:50:00.000+04:00

A day to reflect.

A day to give thanks.

A day for resolve.

A day that reminds me every year.......to tell everyone I love how much I love them, because life can be fleeting.

How to honor death? LIVE....

Katrina relief response....

2005-09-06T18:05:00.000+04:00

I'm working on a rather large IT project in relation to Katrina. Jeff Jarvis calls this response Recovery 2.0.

This is why blogging has been so light. I spent most of my days since Thursday pulling 12-17 hour work days, though I did take a bit of time this weekend to spend with the kids.

Iraq Traveling Series next post is just about finished and should be up in the next two days.

Visit all the sites Jeff mentions in his post if you can, and offer whatever your expertise is. It's not just "techs" that are needed. It's also people that can do copy, can be volunteer coordinators, or just have the right contact for the situation to help.

Preparedness....

2005-09-02T08:59:00.000+04:00

With all that's gone on, there's talk all over the web about being prepared. The timing is unusual, as just the weekend before Katrina hit, my two boys got to go to a Scout sponsored weekend hike in Rangeley, Maine with the Instructors from the Navy's SERE program (that's Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape).

If you ever have the chance to do something like this, do it. Actually, I take that back. Seek out the chances to do something like this. Petty Officer Hoag seemed to have 15 different ways to start a fire, and my kids learned that they can eat "rock tripe", crickets, and other assorted delectables from Mother Nature when in a bind. They learned how to filter water, mark a trail, and countless other things. The nice Marine that was there (heads up the, er, "resistance" part of the course), also explained the evasion/resistance side of things, to the extent allowed to non military members.

I'm really grateful that my kids got this opportunity. If there's one thing in life that can make you more confident (which in itself can help save you in many situations) it is being prepared and practiced for a situation. When I go to Iraq, there are some basic things I do before I go. Aside from a first aid kit, I am always sure to have a bottle of cipro, or some other wide range antibiotic, and prescription med anti emetics. Disease, food poisoning, or another number of things can cause severe and quick dehydration in hot climates, so having an anti emetic in that situation, especially if you are a smaller person and will dehydrate more quickly, is a must. On that note, powdered gatorade is great as well to carry for quick replacing of electrolytes.

The other thing I suggest is to go out and learn to shoot a gun. I hated guns, was terrified of them for the first 21 years of my life, even though I grew up around them. Eventually I was convinced that I ought to rethink that position. Once I handled a gun, could take it apart, load it, shoot it, and not think while doing it, I lost all fear of them. Like anything else, they are a tool. Not to be taken lightly, for certain, but it's true what they say, guns don't kill people, people kill people. Or save them.

There's the eternal optimist in me coming out again. But not so optimistic as to not be prepared. Go read, then go do.

New Orleans-The Chaos Theory

2005-09-02T07:46:00.000+04:00

Everywhere you go, the talk is all about Katrina, and specifically about New Orleans. Some of what we've seen is disgusting, people acting as their worst. But most importantly we must remember that again, this is not the majority. The majority evacuated. And then the majority of the minority left acted rationally considering the terrible plight they were in. And then the news will cover the most sensational of what's left.

Death, and life, are chaos. And chaos breeds both creativity and anarchy. A good friend of mine was once talking with me about the chaos theory. We were actually talking about it in regard to when two parties meet that are just the right combination in chaos, they drive the chaos in a way that is more powerful than the chaos, in other words, controlled chaos, in a sense. I've always remembered the conversation in these situations because it becomes such a fitting metaphor.

Then there is the butterfly effect: The flapping of a single butterfly's wing today produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time, what the atmosphere actually does diverges from what it would have done. So, in a month's time, a tornado that would have devastated the Indonesian coast doesn't happen. Or maybe one that wasn't going to happen, does. (Ian Stewart, Does God Play Dice? The Mathematics of Chaos, pg. 141)

So, why am I talking about this? Because I think it is most important to remember the changes that this will bring, the changes for the better. It is, after all, when we are challenged, that we can rise to our worth. Or, as I stated here, one of my favorite proverbs is: "Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it."

That is what we are seeing now. We are seeing the character of New Orleans, of the people surrounding it, of the people in Texas that are taking in many of the survivors, of our country. And some of the character revealed is ugly. But most of it is strong and beautiful.

On that note, I'm off to New York tomorrow to meet with some people that are trying to help streamline the effort of cleaning up after Katrina. Of putting peoples' lives back together. Of doing what we do best at these times, showing our character.

Natural Disasters....

2005-08-31T17:08:00.000+04:00

Baghdad is having their own "natural disaster" today, as this report says that 648 have been killed so far in the bridge stampede there this morning.

All of these things, (this, Katrina, etc.) are sad of course, but what is so sad about them is the extent to which they could have been prevented. The tsunami was different, because it was so unexpected. Baghdad was unexpected, but still could have been somewhat preventable by many parties, though this is not the time for me to get into that. Katrina was expected, but many acted too late.

If in some way, it prevents later similar situations, or raises awareness about preparedness, or pulls people together, then in some small way, good will come out of the bad. I'm a firm believer that it always does.

I'll be protesting too...

2005-08-31T03:35:00.000+04:00

6 years ago. That was the last time we had an airshow here in Brunswick, Maine at the Naval Air Station. If you haven't been to an airshow, it's rather hard to describe. It may sound boring to some of you, but it truly is a treat to see and in some cases get into the finest our nation has to offer in aircraft. It's an American event, and yes, more so for military members and aviation afficiendos.

We were scheduled for one in September 2001, but it was quickly cancelled after September 11. It's hard to describe, but that cancellation, though of course necessary at that time, felt like a "win" for terrorism to me. Not only were they keeping our planes out of the air commercially, but now the Blue Angels couldn't even fly here, and nobody knew when they would be back.

This year we were gratified to learn that the show would be back in town. And even more so after we learned last week that BNAS was voted to be cut in the latest round of military base closures. So this year a bunch of us are planning on going to the Air Show at the base. There are always lots of military members from various services there, and plenty of vets to thank.

And, it's being held on September 10/11.

So, imagine my surprise today to learn that THIS is what else is being planned for my town on that day.

Oh, what the heck, I may as well share it with you in full:

Theme of Our Protest:
"Stop the Worship of the Gods of War!"

On Sat., Sept. 10th, Maine Veterans for Peace will be joined by other major peace and justice groups (see list of co-sponsors below) in a massive protest:

. to protest the false god idolatry of the Blue Angels Air Show, whose "ooh-&-aah"performances have one purpose: to promote badly-lagging military recruitment to protest the obscene waste of American tax dollars to stage these Blue Angels' multi-million dollar extravaganzas

. to protest Bush's immoral, monomaniacal Iraq war -- nearly 1,800 U.S. and
100,000 Iraqi civilians dead, at a cost of over $300 billion, and still counting

. to protest NASB's complicity with the war machine, providing surveillance aircraft to target ground forces, which in the end cause horrendous "collateral damage"

. to challenge NASB to convert to peaceful purposes, creating good-paying high-tech/industrial jobs, making products that improve lives, not end them

We urge you to join us Sept. 10 in Brunswick. Also joining us will be Kathy Kelly (Founder: Voices in the Wilderness) and Cindy Sheehan (Founder: Gold Star Families for Peace)

I'd like to say I'm above all this, but I don't think I am. I'll pull up in with my combat star sticker in the window, and my "civilian dog tags" on. Combat Star courtesy of my brother in law who is an Army Major training ISF in Ramadi. "Civilian Dog Tags" courtesy of my Iraqi friends, who gave them to me as a token of my civilian service there, and more importantly of our friendship and loyalty to each other. I'll be protesting too. For every Iraqi I know and for every American serviceman who allows me the freedom to be writing this right now.

God Bless America. Aasha Al-Iraq. Long live freedom.

A trip to the Dominican...

2005-08-30T08:39:00.000+04:00

I had a discussion this evening with a college student that just returned from a trip to the Dominican Republic for a nursing program that is run there in the villages. I ask you to keep this in mind as you read. This is an American college student. This is our next generation.

We spoke about her patients first.

"I have to tell you that there were these ladies that I took care of, I spent 90 minutes with the one of them one day. She had diabetes, htn, and knew none of her meds.
She also had a nasty ulcer on her foot that was not healing well so I spent all this time with her one day trying to get her set up and then had her come back about 10 days later to one of our last clinics to check up on her. When I saw her again her blood sugar was perfect at 80, her wound was healing soooo well but her bp was still a little high. But they were so excited about her foot because they could see the difference and how it was healing much better. It was one of the best moments of the trip."

Then she and I had a deeper discussion.

Her: We've had a lot of discussions about going back, some of my friends and I, we know we are doing good.
Me: Of course you are!
Her: But then we also ask if we are making the villages dependent on us somehow with them expecting us every 6 months.
Me: Good to have the success story with that lady too.
Her: And then we also discussed the peace corps involvement there.
Me: Not if you teach them how to take care of themselves....that's the key.
Her: It's a funny balance. Yeah that's what I think, I mean education, not just free meds you know?
Me: Exactly, and you can tell the difference, like that lady listened to you.
Her: Yeah it was so great, I wrote down the instructions too which I think helped her a lot.
Me:And hence her blood sugar stabilized and her foot healed.
Her: We had two teams and we were splitting that clinic to give everyone a half day off, but I went down in the morning to see her even though I wasn't scheduled because I really wanted to follow up and everyone was joking with me that I was going way above and beyond, but I was just way too attached to her.
Me: But that's what makes the difference.
Her: Yes.

We talked about her patients, every morning they had a line out the door of the clinic, and it went non stop from morning until night.

We talked about the kids.

We talked about how it feels to help people that need it, to connect with another culture. How incredibly rewarding it is to see some kind of giving that you have done turn into something more. How she wants to go back in two weeks instead of 5 months. How I feel just the same about Iraq. How half of your mind lives there, wondering what's going on with this person or that one? You lie in bed and think of it there, and later you do the same here.

Oh, and this isn't any college kid to me. This is my sister. She's 23 and she could have passed this up to graduate earlier. Instead she challenged herself, and took the road that's brought help to others, and personal fulfillment, and a passion for her chosen profession. And I'm damned proud of her.

Impatience is the Enemy

2005-08-21T08:02:00.000+04:00

Everyone is impatient. It’s become a large part of our culture here in America. And while that is good for some things, such as driving ideas in the marketplace, it’s not so good for others.

It’s not so good for Iraq. Iraqis are already impatient. The Sheat that have been held down for years are impatient to gain what they feel is their "rightful" majority rule, the Sunni who have tended to be the more privileged, educated class during the past 30 years, are impatient, as, believe it or not, a large segment of them has become supportive of a secular government, as they have been educated, and seen the prosperity that comes with Westernization. The Kurds are so impatient, marginalized and persecuted for years, they finally took their security upon themselves, and they have, for the most part, already been through what the rest of Iraq is just beginning over ten years ago.

I have been avowing for days in debates, with friends and on the blogosphere that impatience is the largest threat to Iraq today.

Still measured in months, in November, 2004, the borders of Iraq were sealed, so that the operation of Fallujah could take place. This was a smart step by the government at that time, as it allowed the operation a different measure of success than it may have had if they hadn’t closed the borders, though it left some people stranded in Iraq that were outside of it, and some outside that were supposed to be back in country. I was in Jordan at the time, and it was an interesting time indeed. With this already going on, (the Jordan/Iraq highway was closed/as were all flights, which is a BIG deal for a lot of people and businesses there) Arafat died, and Ramadan ended with its usual celebrations taken to extreme with the death of Arafat at the same time. It sure was interesting to be in Jordan when Arafat died. But that’s a discussion for later.

Point being, that Operation was considered as part of the “disaster” that Iraq had become. It was the first time I noticed growing impatience on the part of the American public with OIF.

A mere 2 and a half months later, Iraqis silenced that impatience with their first democratic voting process. All the world saw was ink stained purple fingers, smiles and tears. And a turnout that put our country to shame, in conditions much worse than any of us have to go through to vote.

That calm lasted for a while. But then, in an all out effort, the terrorists scaled up. Starting in May we saw another escalation. I happen to equate this with the fact that elections DID mean that Iraq might indeed become a democratically elected government, or even worse was the fear of neighboring states that it could become a secular republic governmentally. Which would cause great issues for the possibility of Syria and Iran to hang on to their dictatorships long term. Which in turn led to, guess what? Another spike in terrorism in Iraq.

And in the past weeks, after the death of 21 Marines in two days, I saw the American public start to tip over the edge with their impatience. This galvanizes the enemy. Most of us agree that we can’t and shouldn’t pull out of Iraq now, for different reasons, but the most commonly agreed on one is that it would tell the terrorists that “they win.” Please, folks, show the resolve and unity we had after 9/11. When the going gets tough, we keep going. It’s how we are where we are today, it’s why we still enjoy the most prosperous and safe place to live in the world. It’s part of what makes us American.

If you feel impatient, I have a suggestion. Do something to help. And remember, our country wasn’t made in 3 years either. Nothing worth having in life comes too easily.

Remember the example above, and how quickly things can change in a mere 3 months there. Be patient. For after the bad days, the good return. (Iraqi saying)

In regards to: The Definition of Failure.....

2005-08-21T07:00:00.000+04:00

I have a couple of new posts coming up. But germane to one that will be titled "The Definition of Failure" is the following required reading:

On trends in military spending.

On the argument of Iraq, why and whether we should stay longer, a comment I posted in regards to this post at Winds of Change, of which the entire post and comment thread is well worth reading if you want a good cross section of thinking on this without the usual "personalized ranting" of fringes on both sides.

Err, and by the way, the Army is already doing planning for 2009 in Iraq. See this report.

Then, soon I'll post the followup, which is a debate that I had with a member of the Navy, and a great representation of the debate that is going on nationwide in respect to this.

Who's an expert on the Middle East...?

2005-08-16T06:05:00.000+04:00

Mark brought up in the comments section a question on the latest traveling Iraq post. It was "are you going to write a post about the Iraqi Constitution?" Thanks for asking Mark, because I've wanted to write the post you are about to read for quite some time.

I have a love affair with the Middle East. There's simply no other way to put it. However, I am an American. While I may get to see or hear things that a lot of other Americans don't, the simple truth is that the people there (in Iraq, or Iran, or wherever the case may be), will always know more, and that's the key, listening to them. While I will discuss what I've seen or heard or experienced in Iraq sometimes, it's more of the variety of something I have firsthand experience with. I couldn't offer anything compared to any of the Iraqi blogs on the Iraqi Constitution, so I won't write about it. That's pretty much my test. Do I have something to say that people are possibly unlikely to hear or see elsewhere?

However, when I hear Michael Yon talking tonight about how the Kurdish are becoming more and more adamant about a separatist state, I find myself sitting here nodding my head. Most people don't know how fractioning this could actually become to Iraq. Kurdistan is a huge part of the economy, forget about the fact that Sulymania and the rest of Kurdistan don't exactly see eye to eye. I still believe it is also something that would benefit both areas to keep unity. I understand the Kurdish issue, really I do, as I've stated here previously. But, ARGH, the pride in the Middle East is stifling at times, and so, so, so exhausting to watch. Grudges are held and passed down for centuries, or longer.

I did get to see the beautiful signs along the roadside regarding the writing of the Iraqi Constitution, unfortunately, though the shot I thought I got had never really made it...(need a new camera).

Anyhow, this goes to something bigger for me. I go into a bookstore, here, or in Britain, and I head directly for the History section, and then the Middle East, and yes, usually specifically Iraq. (Here's me crawling around the Borders store down near Ground Zero....my colleague with me at the time thought it was amusing that I literally crawled around looking at books). One day, my sister took the kids to the movies and I spent the entire 2 hours reading this book in the store, never even knew the time was going by until my phone rang. I was sitting on the floor, tears streaming down my face, couldn't put the book down. Another time I spent a good part of an hour sitting in the Borders at Tyson's Corner in the VA/DC area reading this book.

But what normally happens is this: I go into a store, see 50 books on Iraq/Iran/Middle East by various authors, David Pryce Jones, Edward Said, of course I have read Lewis and Friedman, but now they don't hold the same allure for me. They are more knowledgeable than I, certainly. But are they more knowledgeable than, say, people there? I know enough Iraqis and Iranians now that I feel I have my own historical library if I want it. I'm not so shortsighted as to not realize that this is filtered through their personal experiences, so you still need a cross section of views. But I just can't get my mind around the fact that some American, no matter how well schooled, has any authority on a subject that is greater than the person that has and is living it. And this is where blogs come in. I've always wanted to see, and have talked with some pretty smart folks about, a future where there will be "stringers" from various countries, and translation so that we can hear all of the voices in the way that they are heard on the blogosphere in the US. That day, I think, is not so far off, and I very much look forward to it.

Michael Yon on RKO

2005-08-15T05:36:00.000+04:00

I grew up near Boston, listening to WRKO radio, which Michael Yon is on live from Mosul right now.

I have exchanged e mails with Michael, and he's a hell of a guy. I hope I get to meet him, either in Iraq, or here someday. Go hit his tip jar. We need him, Deuce Four needs him, and Iraq needs him.

Life.....American Style

2005-08-14T06:05:00.000+04:00

Tonight, I went to our town fair with friends. We went to take our kids (13,9,9,7,and 5) to watch, well, er, a "smash up derby". This is one of those things that I would never typically attend (not my thing, I equate it to a very local level of Nascar in my mind,-that's a prejudice I'm trying to work on), but last year the boys had gone and they had a great time, so I decided to tag along.

I was able to bring my niece along, she's the same age as my boys, and they are loving living near each other for the first time in their lives. The reason they are able to do that, however, is double edged, as her dad is serving in Iraq right now, so they are here to be near family.

As we found a place near the side to stand and watch, the kids talked animatedly about which car they were choosing to win. The announcer stated that the event would begin, and would we please stand for the National Anthem. Tonight was a little different. Usually, when the Star Spangled Banner plays, I don't think, I just feel. Sometimes I get a smile, sometimes tears, sometimes goose bumps. Tonight I just looked from the flag to my niece. I reached out and touched her shoulder. I thought about her father waking up at that time in a tent with hundreds of Iraqi soldiers far away. I thought about how badly I wanted to be there too, and why. I thought about my own kids, and what they might think of the person I am, and have been, when I die someday.

I used to have this idea. It came from my father leaving me as a child. It was that every parent was responsible to their children first. And that if all parents in the world followed that, we wouldn't need people taking care of other people's children. The problem with that is, well, there's no such thing as utopia. People are human. They act in terrible ways sometimes. And other people come along and act in turn in wonderful ways that try to undo the damage of the terrible.

Everyone I know has said to me, "you don't have to go to Iraq...why?" "You aren't in the Armed Forces, you know." Yeah, I know. I also know that they (the Armed Forces) can't do it (getting the country on her feet again) alone. It takes rebuilding the infrastructure as well. Someone has to help them (Iraqis) do it. Someone has to do all of the things in this world that are hard and have to get done. I won't say it's a sacrifice for me, because I love what I do, and I love the people I do it with.

That said, is it my job to not go to places that may be dangerous because my kids aren't yet grown? Or are there hundreds or even thousands that I could affect more? Which is my first duty? I truly try to use the same theory that Michael Yon does, which is taking calculated risks, not stupid ones. I'm still walking that tightrope, holding my boys' hands on one side, and the other loves in my life on the other side.

I'm an American, and to me that means doing as much possible for as many as possible. As I always tell my boys, love multiplies, hate divides. All I can hope is to love enough in my life to cause the multiplication effect.

Hope Springs Eternal...or A Flower in the Desert

2005-08-09T01:34:00.000+04:00

First I want to say a big thank you to Blackfive for the very nice post and links, and welcome to his readers that have come here. While I'm at it I want to address something that is important to me.
There was a comment over at Blackfive that was critical of my stating how surprised I was at the beauty of Baghdad. This guy sounded like he’d spent some serious time serving in the worst sections of it. It’s important to me, especially important because I have a family member serving in Iraq right now, for people to understand that most of the military never get to see what I will be describing. They are like police officers that are assigned to Watts, and will never see the South Bay beaches, or they are in the slums of NY, and never see Manhattan. Baghdad is a huge city. Both areas exist, the “hell” of Sadr City, and the beauty of the palm groves. Just as both areas exist, the relative safety of Kurdistan, and the danger of Anbar. Our best hope is that they learn not only to coexist, but to unify for the betterment of the all, for the continued security of those places already peaceful and for those in the places of danger to be allowed a chance to change their existence to one of peace and security as well. Thanks to all who served and continue to serve, this IS possible, and it has happened in many parts of the world.

Like this flower I found in the desert sand in Iraq (above).....when enough are put together, it makes this (below). If I have a fault, it is optimism.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

-Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733

Regarding Islam...and a new generation

2005-08-04T18:46:00.000+04:00

There’s a debate that’s been raging for some time now on the Muslim community, a lack of outcry about their fellow Muslims and those that are taking Islam to extreme, the Islamists. To me, the Islamists represent the obvious of what we are all grappling with here. Ask any educated, secular Iraqi, they’ll tell you the same.

But that’s really not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about what I feel is an entirely misunderstood and underrepresented section of the Middle East. I’m talking about the educated 30 year old and under crowd. Largely westernized, if even through exposure to television (ugh), and getting more and more educated, this class knows and despises what extremism has brought to their lives. They also know, thanks in part to the Internet, what else is out there in the world.

Anyhow, here’s what I had to say, with some additions since, in a recent debate on this which had started with some discussion by Europeans and Americans on a board stating we should “just outlaw Islam”:

First of all, you can’t, nor should you, outlaw a religion. Again, there are laws to protect a religion from overstepping its bounds, at least here. This goes to the entire argument of: your individual rights end where they start affecting someone else’s. Also, as I’ve said a million times before, society has more effect on people than governments do, and the Middle East is a prime example of that. Even with the most stringent governments, and religious expectations, trust me, there’s plenty of “bending the rules”. People here seem to think that nobody in these places drinks alcohol, has physical relationships with the opposite sex, breaks fast during Ramadan, etc. I am here to tell you that is simply NOT true, not anymore than “no Catholics use “artificial” birth control”! It’s still hidden, yes, but not so hidden that I haven’t seen it for myself. There was the young 20’s couple working at the hotel sneaking in the back for kisses, coming out disheveled and smiling. There have been so many drivers that have confessed to me that they hate Ramadan, they give up their cigarettes for the first few days, then start sneaking them. I could go on…

Second, having been in a couple of Muslim countries quite a bit this year (Jordan and Iraq), Muslim is used in this group somewhat in the same way as, oh, say Catholic is. What I mean is that though x % of the population is technically Muslim (i e raised that way, or their parents, grandparents still go to Mosque, practice it) they do not embrace it without questions, or without taking the parts that they like and leaving other parts. Sounds familiar, huh? There is a large group of Middle Eastern intellectuals, especially in our generation, and more so in the 20 something one, that are totally disenfranchised with religion in general, and Islam in particular. There are, truly, separate sects of this religion. I mean, it's kind of like trying to compare Opus Dei with your Sunday Catholic, with your Eastern Orthodox Catholic. (I was using Catholic because most people on the board were familiar with it.)

I'll expand on what I feel some of the problems are later that are allowing this to flourish. But I can tell you, honestly, that in places like Jordan I see a fairly stable society, where in some areas, people are dressed and acting as western as can be, and in others they are devout Muslims. And for the most part, they accept the differences and live in a sort of harmony. (Don’t get me wrong, Jordan has it’s issues…(anti-Semitism anyone?)…when at the same time they do a booming tourist business from people crossing to Israel near the Dead Sea.)

Now, if you are strictly speaking about the Muslim communities not issuing harsh statements about terrorism, well, that'd be in many cases because a) they are terrorized, b) they don't even consider those people as part of their religion or c) yes, some secretly support it. Now, here’s where I agree with you, it’s the a’s, b’s, AND c’s that are the problem. Because when the a’s don’t speak up for fear, they don’t realize how large their number is, and they give more power to the c’s. When the b’s don’t bother to speak up because of indifference, they too give more power to the c’s.

The c’s are power hungry, cowardly people that cling for various reasons to their support of extreme Islamists. For some it’s fear of loss of power and a comfortable existence. For some it’s a way of being protected, the years of Sadaam are still in their heads and they strategically choose to belong to one “alliance” or another. For these, as they can’t be in the green zone for protection, then they are taking what they see as the next best thing, cozying up to the terrorists for protection. And yes, for some it is a true ideological choice.

More discussion forthcoming....

We won't forget

2005-08-03T15:23:00.000+04:00

Steven Vincent murdered in Basra. If you followed his writing, you will know that he was devoted to his interpreter, and I'm guessing that it made it that much more hell for them both when captured at gunpoint.

14 of our finest were killed today. I have had the honor and privledge of working with some of the Marines in Iraq in the past, and they have a special place in my heart. You will not be forgotten, nor will your sacrifices be in vain. That is a promise.

Condolences to the families of all that continue to bleed from terrorism. We will not forget you.

I'm angry and sad. And that much more determined.

No More Mortal Gods

2005-07-31T23:12:00.000+04:00

My observations here are based on personal conversations and experiences. They are also based on some knowledge of historical events in Iraq and Kurdistan, though I don’t claim to be even an amateur when it comes to the amount of history involved there.

But for what it’s worth, I’d like to share some discussion and observations. Kurdistan is a bit like a police state. It’s safe, which is a hell of a lot more than you can say for other parts of Iraq, (or for parts of Washington DC for that matter), but the security is tight and it’s everywhere in Erbil in particular. For what it’s worth, it’s working, so I’m all for it at the moment, based on the particular climate.

On Kurdish Independence: I was talking to someone in the Kurdish government in one of the Ministries. He was telling me how they feel so close to America, and how they really should never have been made part of Iraq, it was all the Brits’ doing, and how they really should be independent. I made my argument back to him. I said, “Yes, you are close to America, because you have stood up, and your people have shed blood and endured hardships for everything they have, we understand and respect that, it is our history as well.” Then I added, “You are now 10 years ahead of the rest of Iraq, they are going through the hell you were 10 years ago…..you know better than anyone else how hard that period is, Kurdistan has a lot to offer the rest of Iraq and together you can be a very strong country, besides which you benefit much more from this in the long run than the risk of having a separate neighboring country that may be riddled with violence for much longer without your help.” It was quite obviously probably one of the first times he’d been spoken to this way, but he took it in stride and actually sat and heard me, and thought for a moment before replying. He said “you make fair points.”

However, there are some other issues in the region. One is certainly Barzani. There are pictures of him everywhere on billboards, on buildings, in windows, especially in Erbil, but also in other areas of Kurdistan. We were discussing this, some Iraqi friends and I, over lunch at a restaurant with some Kurdish women. I was so happy to hear them say, “I really don’t like that, and it bothers me.” Now, here I’m paraphrasing, as part of the conversation was in Arabic, part in Kurdish, and part in English, but the gist was “you’d think after Sadaam we wouldn’t have to put up with such nonsense. It doesn’t help to raise one person as the “savior or protector” of the people, and it sure doesn’t encourage faith that one person or ruling class won’t take over control again”.

Let me add here though, that we were having this discussion in a public place, a restaurant, and that when one of my friends, sitting next to me echoed this sentiment with, “yes, no more Mortal Gods”, I was grinning ear to ear, I thought it was the most appropriate statement possible. Could this discussion have taken place 3 years ago? Could I even have been sitting there? Absolutely not. Let me also add that there is a distinct difference in Sulymania. The political party and process there is different, and it’s visible, in the private sector growth, in the streets, it is a city and a province more of the people, and that is clear.

You want to see what Kurdistan can offer to the rest of Iraq? I think this picture puts it in perspective. You go into schools there, you see Muslims, Christians, kids in headscarves, kids in western clothing, kids all daring to show themselves for who they are, and all sharing the same school, learning each others cultures, and thus coming to appreciate them. Having grown up with friends from Lebanon, Israel, India, hard core Christians, Jews, Atheists, Agnostics, kids that were poor, rich, and in between in my high school, I can tell you it was in fact that that shaped my life, my desire to see and know and learn more and more that we are all pretty much the same underneath. That it’s great to sit at a table and debate religion, politics, and culture, and at the end of the day, if the person you were debating had a personal issue……you were among the first to offer assistance, an ear, a hug, and mean it. That’s a free society at it’s best. People are inherently good. And society can encourage that, or stifle it.

No more Mortal Gods.

American Baby

2005-07-31T20:21:00.000+04:00

I have this condition in my brain, where everything can be a metaphor. Music, movies, and especially books, and life events.

I was listening to the new song by Dave Matthews while driving a few days ago entitled “American Baby”. It was interesting to me, as Matthews was a outspoken opponent of the US going into Iraq to overthrow the regime of Sadaam and the Ba’athists, because all that I could find in it was exactly how I feel I should be giving those I love there to feel about me as an American. It really defined one of the things I feel strongly about, that it is a big part of me, of being American, to be eternally optimistic, and to be the smile when one is needed, to be the keeper of faith in humanity, the reminder of something full of life, to show a light so that someone will know there is one at the end. This is a personal post I guess, but hey, that’s blogging. If it bores you, the nice thing is that you don’t have to read it! Here it is, in italics, with my comments after each verse.

If these walls came crumbling down
And fell so hard to make us lose our faith
From what’s left you’d figure it out
Still make lemonade taste like a sunny day

That’s what I want every person to think when they think of Americans, that if the very worst thing happened, they won’t give up, they’ll keep trying to find a way, and I think that many Americans are seen this way, when people lose their faith elsewhere, we are able to hold ours in humanity, by the gift of what we’ve had. We haven’t been beaten down for years by fear and injustice, and yet we don’t take that for granted either.

Nobody’s laughing now
God’s grace lost and the devil is proud
But I’ve been walking for a thousand miles
One last time I could see you smile

Okay, to me it’s the war on terror. Simple, nobody’s laughing now… looks like all’s lost there to some and the evil is proud….BUT still there are many who’ll walk a thousand miles with us….just for one more glimpse of that hope that we shine. And for what it’s worth, there are many of us that have been with those caught in this struggle, in Iraq in my case, in Afghanistan, or Lebanon, or Iran, or many parts of Africa that would walk the thousand miles to see the smile of hope they keep shining in us as well.

I hold on to you
You bring me hope I’ll see you soon
And if I don’t see you
Oh, I’m afraid we’ve lost the way

Lots of people all over the world hold on to us as the “great hope”, and if they don’t see us continue to stand as that, then they’ll feel abandoned. I’m not saying we owe them, I’m saying it’s how they feel, because we’ve played that role as Americans. Personally, I’m proud of that. Unfortunately, there seem to be an increasing number of Americans that just don’t want their comfy little world disturbed. But, ask anyone working overseas in an American consulate about the Visa process. Ask about people that wail outside the windows of our embassies in hope that that showing their despair will get them and their children to our country. Are we still the great hope? You bet we are.

I hold on to you
You lift me up
And always will
I see you in light
Hope I don’t get left behind

This reminds me of a poem by an Iraqi called “America”….we lift people up and want them to be carried away by the same feelings of freedom that we have but we have little patience with them at times, they see us in the light we are shining at the end, but hope that we don’t leave them behind….that we can be patient enough.

Stay, American Baby
Stay, beautiful baby
Nobody’s laughing now
But you could always make me laugh out loud

Please, stay (relative term) and remember that you always could give us hope, even though nobody’s laughing now, you are the hope that we will laugh again.

I’m certain that most people see this song as a song about a guy in love with an American girl, I can see that too, it would be just a microcosm of how I’m looking at it as a bigger picture. Sorry Mr. Matthews, but you just gave me more reason to want to stay.

I’m not leaving.
If and when I’m asked to leave, I’ll do it, but I’ll take a look back, and I’ll smile…

Technology and the Mindsets that Drive It

2005-06-25T22:10:00.000+04:00

NYC. Manhattan. A wonderful apartment. A beautiful sunset. Lots of champagne. A roomful of techies.

And me. (Ok, Ok, one or two other non-techies, but only one other do-tanker.)

This has been a common situation for me in the past year. (Not the NY, sunset part, but the roomful of techies and me part!) Again, I am back to the do-tank, think-tank discussion.

I am useful to techies because I don’t see things in the same way as them. I see them first in the same way as an ordinary person. However, I CAN see them in the same way as them, or at least close enough to relate, so they tolerate me. And I amuse them, I’m a sort of curiosity to most of them I’ve found.

In other words, I’m a great beta tester. I’m not scared of telling them that what they’ve designed is in some cases, while theoretically beautiful, next to useless in practical terms when compared to what they wanted to come from the design. I also want their design to work, usually as much as they do. If only all of you knew every single day just how much thought is out there going into technology and the Internet, you simply can’t imagine it if you haven’t been immersed in it. Considering the spinning of wheels that goes on in many of these peoples’ heads trying to come up with the next “thing”……well, let’s just say that there’s enough power left over to solve any issues with Iraq’s electrical grids.

And you know what? The most influential thing, after ten years of this, as far as I can figure out, is pretty much, well, blogs. (Note, I said influential, not important.) Now, blogs are not to be undermined, after all, the Internet, and the phenomenon of blogs, have given me all of the work I’ve done in the past year of life, as well as my best friendships. But they haven’t.

And here’s where the mindset part of the post comes in. Because it takes a person DOING something to make that other part happen. If I hadn’t done something with Zeyad and Omar, when I wanted to help, I would never have met Jeff Jarvis. If I hadn’t met Jeff, I wouldn’t have met Marc Danziger, if I hadn’t met Marc, I wouldn’t have met Donovan Janus. If I hadn’t met all of these people, I wouldn’t be where I am today. But it was more than meeting. It was doing. It was a collective desire to be a part of a process that makes a difference. And then it was acting on that desire.

But I digress. Well, sort of………..

Because, do you know what else I have noticed? There are two distinct groups of techies. What I call the old school techies: Doc Searls, Jeff Jarvis, Tim Oren, Esther Dyson,Britt Blaser, etc, mostly baby boomer generation. And there are your new young techies: think Civicspace, Echo Ditto, etc. There are very few representations of people in their thirties and forties (my generation) in this group. My guess as to why? Well, twofold, to be honest.

First, in order to be a true techie, those that build tech, not those that fix it, you are often working just about ‘round the clock. And when you aren’t working, your brain still is. Which means, a family life rather interrupts things. (There are exceptions of course.)

Second, technology is, in large part theory. It is not in its purest form, a reality based project. It is theoretical and therefore attracts more liberal mindsets. Liberal thinking takes a more open mindset, and also a certain detachment from realistic thinking, and is modeled more on idealism.

Now, there are a few people that encompass both, and truthfully, it’s damned hard to be both. It’s hard to be realistic and keep your idealism. It’s hard to be idealistic and keep a realistic view of just how far you can take those thoughts. It’s a battle that plays out constantly in your mind. These are usually the people that fix tech, as opposed to building it or envisioning it.

But, in real life, it works pretty well, when all’s said and done. One thing’s for certain. You feel everything in life when you are in the middle. You don’t miss the suffering, but you don’t miss not having cared for the suffering. And in the end, that’s the measure of success, in any project. Have you bettered life on earth somehow by what you have accomplished? That can mean bettering life in any way. As Marc Danziger would say, “someone has to wash the dishes.”

Enough Politics.......

2005-06-24T07:42:00.000+04:00

I’m a political junkie. But these days, the words are blurring together. Gitmo, Durbin, ratings down on this, ratings up on that. I just find myself, well, not caring.

In fact, I’m too busy thinking about all of the stuff I have to pull together to make a successful trip across the pond, and then across the desert. And I think that’s why I am, for the lack of a better word, frustrated. The debate is important. It’s only one half of the solution however. Now, I think that there are some amazing writers that do a fantastic job using their talent to raise the debate level, or awareness. That IS doing something in my book. However, when I see the same arguments and thoughts repeated ad nauseam on blog after blog, frankly, it depresses me. If people stopped talking so much, and put all that energy into doing something, well, I think a whole lot more problems would be solved.

But that’s just me. As one of my buddies said, “you belong in a do-tank”. Problem is, I gravitate towards people that are “think tank” types. I love a debate, I love an intellectual discussion, I think long term, big picture. Yet, I have found, after I started “doing” that nothing takes the place of that feeling.

Sometimes I feel like I have a citizen’s version of battle fatigue. I’m never really fully engaged here anymore. My mind is often 10,000 miles away……literally. Is it fair to expect everyone to be a soldier? No. Is it fair to expect everyone to “do something”? No. But that’s not the issue. The real issue is, that people don’t know HOW to help. Most of my ability to help others has come from relationship building. Not all people are good at this, enjoy it, or find the risks worth the rewards. This doesn’t mean that those same people don’t want to do something that would take that as a beginning to get to where they’d like to contribute. I know that from this past year’s experience more than ever. People want to help. They just want someone to give them an easy way to do it, so that they can also keep working, keep being with their families, keep playing on the weekends, AND know that they’ve done something.

Which leads us to the other two types of people needed to allow that to happen. It takes soldiers, protecting those freedoms at a base level, and it takes people building in the civilian sector to better the quality of life. We truly are a global community now more than ever. And bettered quality of life in one area ultimately affects another. And THAT is a topic that is not discussed nearly enough.

I recently participated in such a discussion in a NYC "penthouse party". I guess that I know what my next post will be......

Risk-Reward Ratio

2005-06-21T21:02:00.000+04:00

Went for a run in the mid day sunshine, and had to dodge all of the snakes and turtles that had come out to sun themselves in it.

Risked a twisted ankle. Risked sun burn. Risked mild dehydration.

Rewards....

Completing a 10K run in the hot sun.
Feeling the good slow burn in my leg muscles that only such a run can give.
A nice lie out on the beach with a good book.

And for later.....a nice glass of Silver Oak.
I'm saving the other bottle for an upcoming trip......

Beach blogging....

2005-06-21T17:22:00.000+04:00

I am at my annual retreat to the beach. This is a typical dusk here. This is a typical sunset. And this is bliss.

I was wandering around yesterday and saw a sketch of a beach house here, and the words, “No place on earth is better for healing broken hearts.” And I thought how true this is. When I am here, walking on the shore, I think of so many things. Of people in my life that mean so much to me, of why they do, of why I’ve lost touch with others. I play with my two boys in the water, and on the beach, looking for crabs for ‘crab castle’, or last year, to their delight, shocking everyone by running into the ice cold Atlantic (yes, it is still 55 degrees at a maximum)….and doing a full dive under the water, which makes 7 and 8 year old boys quite proud and impressed with their mom!

Last evening I was sitting here devouring a book, and I was watching the sunset turn into dusk, it was beautiful, pink on top, the deepest blue on bottom, and you can watch the blue rise into the pink with every minute, and eventually drive it away, as the stars come out overhead.

I am drawn toward the sea. I gaze and try to see in my mind my friends across the water. For this short time, I feel removed from it all. From politics, and news, and everything but examining what is truly inside of me. And we, none of us, do that often enough. We are too busy, we have work, we have plans, we have to, we must, go, go, go, and not stop, mainly for the fear of this, this introspection.

But when you stop, and you listen, you find yourself. Sometimes it isn’t the person you thought you were. Sometimes things become clearer, and others become murkier. Sometimes you are disappointed, and sometimes amazed. But when you stop, and walk along the water, there can be no doubt that where your thoughts go is to your true desires, your wishes, your hopes and dreams.

Right now, my dreams are sometimes tortured……and many times beautiful. Which I am comfortable with for once, for life is both of these.

"Taxi!"

2005-06-21T07:56:00.000+04:00

In the continuing line of discussing communities worldwide, and how to understand more about them, I submit the following:

“Taxi!”

I love taxis. A bit odd, admittedly, yes. But I have found them to be an interesting study of humanity.

In the past year, I have done a lot of traveling, and had the opportunity to use a lot of taxis, in various cities and countries. I am by nature, a curious person, and will ask a taxi driver a few questions to feel them out, and if they are agreeable, I will converse with them as much as possible.

In the past year I have had the following experiences in cabs:

-Had a driver hug me goodbye at the airport for listening to his tears over his daughters’ psychological trauma after coming back from Iraq, I thanked him for her service, and he thanked me for giving him some information on where they could go to meet Iraqis that were thankful. She had served in Fallujah in very tough conditions the entire time, and hadn’t felt at all that anyone was grateful there for what she did. I can tell you, it isn't every day that people see a huge black man hugging his small white female passenger with tears in his eyes, and tears on my cheeks, as he bid me goodbye at Dulles Airport. One of the most rewarding moments....I'll never forget it. (Washington DC)

-Had a driver argue with me over the Palestinian-Israel conflict, over women’s roles in society, and over US foreign policy while in London. (more on this later)

-Had a driver in Amman ask me for a $500 “loan”. I first said “you are seriously asking me to give you $500?” He said, “ya, inshalla, you can help me”. To which I replied, “even if I could, which I can’t, I don’t carry that kind of money around with me.” To which he replied, “It’s okay, we can stop at the bank on the way to airport!” (he had told me that he had liver disease, and his eldest daughter wouldn't be able to finish college without the $500 that day of course!)

-Had a driver in NYC tell me of his immigration from Peru to the US, and how he has built a future for his children here that he is so proud of, and to which I added, “see, you are exactly the kind of person that makes a great American!”

-Had a driver in NYC (27 year cab veteran) discuss the aftermath of 9/11 and tell me the entire story of that day and the ensuing months from a cabbie’s point of view.

-Had many, many drivers in Los Angeles ask me where Maine was? What country it was in? (“Isn’t that part of Canada?”)

-Had an Egyptian driver in NYC discuss Middle East politics with me in a much more knowledgeable way than any professor of the subject could that I know of. And he appreciated my Arabic, so I forgave him for thinking I was German at first….when I tipped him, he said, “you are American alright!” and I answered back, “that’s because you didn’t ask me for it, as the Jordanians often do! He laughed heartily, and I added, “and you, are a true Arab male”. He asked,“what makes you say that?” I laughed and told him he called me “the beautiful lady” far too many times…..he laughed back appreciatively.

If you want the pulse of a city, talk to as many cab drivers as possible, and you'll get it!

Community

2005-06-04T05:47:00.000+04:00

There was a post somewhere last week that has really had me thinking. It started a discussion about online communities versus real neighboorhood communities. I've had some thoughts there for more than awhile that I'd like to explore.

First, what causes a feeling of community? I'd say that it is more than a feeling of proximity, it is a sharing of something. Now, originally, this was taken to mean a sharing of the same way of living, as in a town you will share a government, recreational programs, you will see each other at the grocery store, or at the library, or at the school meetings. What caused the outreach for community to change? I think there are many things which that can be attributed to, but one certainly is the ability to stay away from it. You can, after all, now divert your attention by the use of the television, the computer, the telephone (24/7 with cell phones), and technology isn't slowing down. On the other hand, all that technology has created new communities as well, and helped them to thrive.

I want to talk first about the leaving behind of the "neighboorhood community". In my case, I live in a middle class town, with middle class people. Though my state is part of blue America, the people are very much more red. By that I mean they are less scholarly, and more simple. They are less intellectual, though no less intelligent. However, if I want to escape my born-again Christian neighbors, who mean well, but start to drive me away with their lecturing, if I want to disengage with the moms at library group that happily sit and prattle away about who is pregnant, breastfeeding, and look at me like I'm insane when I bring up a historical or political discussion, or worse yet, when I say I loved going to Iraq (that's always a shocker), I can. There was a time when I couldn't. I had to choose between alone, or being more tolerant of the differences between myself and others. (Which wasn't a bad thing, and is something I want to explore more in a later post.)

Then, I found blogs.

Now, I have met 4 of my very best current friends because of the blogosphere. I'm talking about people I would let hold my life in their hands and trust them with it, emotionally as well as physically. I can't say I had found 4 people like that in the past ten years in my "real world communities". Why? Because the internet allows people to connect by their likes and beliefs and interests. So, while two of my best buds are on GMT-8 time, two more are on GMT+3 time. Me, I'm on GMT-5 time. Do we form communities? Yes. In fact, we form such communities that we are driven together in different ways to actually form our own "real life communities". Why do you think there are so many blogger/blogging forums going on, and why are they so popular?

This is the essential and very important point. We can have online communities, with our iSights and our webcams, and Skype, and online videoconferencing. But it will never be the same as being there. (Just ask any of our guys and gals in the military!) The need for human touch is strong in most of us, the need to truly see in real live dimensions, and not through a second lens, the need is so strong that in the strongest of communities it drives us toward each other, reaching past the distances to find a way to come together. And we have, and we do, and we will continue to. My world has both become a whole lot larger, and a whole lot smaller in the past year in large part because of blogs and the internet.

And the bottom line is, when I lose connectivity in an ice storm, I enjoy checking on my neighbors, and I still bring my boys to school or community activities, no matter what the weather. Everyone has to shut down the computer some of the time, or it starts to become real life. And it isn't real life. And someday you wake up and realize that it is a crappy substitution for what only real life can provide. However, the Internet might also just be the thing that leads you to the real life you were looking for............and then, then it has done what it is supposed to. Become a pathway to a new community, a new friend, a new culture, a new career, and in the best of cases it can open up a dialogue, which when combined with real life experiences, can teach us how to love.

Inspiration

2005-05-04T21:56:00.000+04:00

Today's run was dedicated to these guys.

Like many runners, I hit "markers." I've been at one for over two weeks now unable to break it. Today, I broke it by simply thinking of "deuce four". If that lieutenant can keep picking up twisted pieces of metal from his buddies' stryker while unable to speak from smoke inhalation, I can run one more mile today. Which leads me to the thought of running in Iraq, and that if all of my friends there can continue on, in spite of not being able to run the streets freely yet as I can, I can run one more mile today. One thought leads to another, and so on like this, until I've found I've more than broken that marker. My personal success in anything depends in good part on the sacrifices of others all over the world.

Every time I need to find inspiration, I can find it in the people all around me. To those all over the world safeguarding freedom....thank you.

Determination in the face of devastation....

2005-04-29T20:54:00.000+04:00

When I first woke this morning, I did what I always do, which is to check e mails and the news.
I saw this and this.

Only hours before, I had been discussing with one of my friends the possibility of my going to Iraq in upcoming months. We discussed that there was currently a 'spike' of violence from the terrorists. That they are losing, and that their tactics show their desperation, but, like any cornered animal, desperation can be very dangerous. They are making a big, all-out attempt, so that they can get lines like the one in the Reuters article this morning which said that they were, "putting the new government under pressure to tackle an insurgency that shows no sign of weakening". They continue to attempt to wreak devastation, not only in the streets, but in the hearts of the Iraqis.

At the same time, I see this other article stating that Al-Yawar says that some of the Sunni leaders are threatening to pull out of the new government if their demands for certain posts are not met. In doing this, they give hope to the terrorists. Hope that the Iraq is not unified, hope that they still have a crack that they can widen.

Now, I understand pretty well that Iraq is a different society than ours. First of all, the issue of pride is among things considered most important. This is one reason for the entire pan-Arab cultural divides and spats over hundreds and even thousands of years. The society is based on a patriarchal model in which there is a patron that you serve and in return, you get protection. It feeds off this in a terrible circle that can only be broken by a very brave and very unselfish leader, one who would not be scared to have not only his thoughts challenged, but his very courage and manhood, to possibly end up being vilified.

But, as I went for my run today, I was thinking, I wonder what it would be like, I wonder of the reaction, if there were just one man, one major Sunni leader, brave enough to stand up and say, "right now, the Sunni population is not as represented as it would have been had certain areas not been as targeted during voting, that is true." "However, we have all paid a price for our country, and now, we are willing to compromise in whatever way is needed to help the new government establish itself."

I know that this would not last, anymore than non partisan unity in the US did after 9/11. But in those first months after, there was no question of divide. None. It brought out the very best in most Americans, the willingness to put aside the smaller conflicts for a larger purpose.

This is akin to what the new government in Iraq must have in order to let the terrorists know that they are not going to break this country. They must at least appear unified, strong, and determined. This does not mean that there should not be argument and disussion, quite the opposite, they should show that they can acheive despite those things. However, to have threats going on of "we won't play if we can't have the toys we want", at this critical time is just absurd. Now is the time for the people that elected these representatives to remember their roles as well. There are many, many Sunnis that are moderate and do not fear a government in which they don't get "x" posts. They need to let the leaders know that. And that's the hardest task of all. After all of the years of not being allowed to speak out about your government, without being killed or tortured for it, it will be the largest test for Iraqis to remember that these people work for them now, and that they have the voice to keep them in power, or remove them.

People in Iraq are fearful still from so many years of brutality and tyrannical government control. And they are an amazingly brave people, as they have shown again and again. They line up still to serve in an unconscripted army. They fight terrorists in their own neighboorhoods. They take risks working in any part of the government. They are risking everything for freedom.

The same freedom that allowed me to think these thoughts as I made my way down the road looking at the new buds on the spring trees this morning and thinking that these trees are like Iraq. They are just budding, but soon enough, they will be in full bloom. Iraq is in it's spring. But soon, it will come into it's full summer, and I am certain that the heat of the people's desire will not be held back by these terrorists, or by a government, ever again.

Unspoken

2005-04-26T16:15:00.000+04:00

This day is for living
For being free
With thoughts, feelings, words

For being wild
Feeling my very nature
As creation intended

Not for work
Or for play
But for running

Through fields
Over streams
With blood coursing

With my mind racing
Inside I am not here
I am far away

Under the palms
Along the river
Racing against my own heart

I’m tired of whispers
Today I will say it loudly
For all of those that can’t

And all will hear me………..

Iraq and the Future.....

2005-04-07T21:11:00.000+04:00

Iraq has a history steeped in intellectual thinkers, in great physicians, engineers, and poets alike. There are far too many people that either don't know, or have forgotten that Iraq was once the cradle of civilization. And though many regimes tried to throw them off the path for many years, the history and knowledge is still there, and you will find it in the people and places throughout Iraq. There is a distinct change in the attitudes towards relationships, religion, and government in Iraq. In particular you can see this in the twenty something generation, and in the one upcoming after it. This is the up and coming Iraq.

Iraq is now being shaped by a new government which was portended in the current elections that just happened, and in the outcome of them. Suddenly, after a resounding success with elections, mentions of Iraq in the news worldwide went down. Even on the second anniversary of OIF's beginning, while there was a brief pickup in the overall worldwide coverage of protests against OIF, the main story of the time was the Schiavo case.

This brings to the front a couple of things that I want to address while I'm on this topic. One is that I find it interesting that one can protest something called Operation Iraqi Freedom. I recently had a discussion about this at a dinner with close family members, one of whom is a committed democrat, but thinks she is a committed liberal. Mind you, there's a difference, and when I pointed out, as many others have, that liberalism used to be for freeing the oppressed, she simply sputtered and flushed. No argument did she have for me. Now, there's that, and there's the fact that on that day of the 2nd anniversary of the beginning of OIF, IN IRAQ, THE AMERICAN FLAG was placed beside the flag there. HMMMM. So people in London are really pissed off that OIF happened, but IRAQIS put up the AMERICAN FLAG (and probably the British in places like Basra, I'll find out, because now I'm curious). Judge for yourself.

The other thing that continuallly annoys me is the reference to what is now going on in Iraq as a war. The only way it is a war, is if it is a part of a war on/against terror. It's not a war, in the way that we conventionally think of wars. A war is usually fought to change a governmental regime for one reason or another, or to gain land. This started as a war, a war against Saddam and his regime. And yes, while there are still ba'athists left fighting with the terrorists, the majority of the regime is gone in Iraq. There is a new government, and the Iraqi people are slowly (or in some cases, quickly) grasping the amazing amount of change that has been thrown upon them in the past two years. Fighting terrorists, side by side with the Iraqi National Guard, or the IP, or in some cases Iraqi civilians, is not a "war against Iraq" by any definition I use.

A gentleman was speaking to me not too long ago, very soon after elections, about support for an initiative in Iraq. He said that he was concerned because often they saw that as the media fades on a certain area, and picks up another one, the interest to support the initial area waned. I told him that certainly we had seen this in Afghanistan, and in countries in Africa in the past, just as examples, and that I understood his concern very well. In fact, it was one that I privately shared in regards to Iraq.

I must say, with the huge support that the blogosphere has given Iraq, both sides of life presented by Iraqi bloggers, I was disappointed in the lack of coverage of the final choices in outcome of elections. While it was breaking news in the MSM, it was barely mentioned in the blogosphere. But maybe I should see this as a good thing. Iraq isn't worldwide breaking news anymore. Neither is Australia, Uzbekistan, or Poland. Maybe there's a commonality there that we can enjoy. But don't lose sight of Iraq. They've still got a lot to show us. Some of the brightest minds I've met are Iraqi, and thus I know what their future looks like. I just hope the world gives them the chance to get there.

What ever happened to Iraq?

2005-04-03T01:32:00.000+04:00

Answer: The same thing that happened to Afghanistan, in as far as the public consciousness is concerned, at least as far as I can tell.

Successful elections, hm, we didn't expect that. OK then, onto the next thing.

I have so many problems with this I hardly know where to begin, but there will be a full discussion up on this tomorrow.

Life

2005-04-03T01:11:00.000+04:00

OK, so forget the literary theme for a minute. I want to talk about something else. This is the beauty of blogs! I'm a runner when able. I ran in high school, college, and I'm still running at 34. My father was a runner, and taught me how to enjoy running. And he taught me in more ways than one.

My father died of cancer almost 5 years ago. And as I was running this morning, with the news all having been full of death lately, the Shiavo case, and the Pope in his last hours, I couldn't help but think of my father, and where I was 5 years ago today. I was in a hospital, at his bedside, with my sister, watching him die. Today would have been day 14 in that which would be a 31 day ordeal, and was probably my weakest moment. I was despondent after two weeks when the doctors had all assured me that he would live for only 3-5 days at the maximum. Why? Because I bore some of the responsibility for what I was watching him go through. I knew his wishes, and I had medical power of attorney for him. I knew that he would die regardless eventually, and his daily suffering would become only greater. But you know what? I can tell you with certainty that suffering does bring a sort of redemption. It brings a love and appreciation of life that you don't get in any other way. Watching him suffer, long before his last stages of death, we came to a different plane of our relationship. It hadn't been a great relationship, during our time apart, from when I was quite young, 6-8yrs, until I was 20, it was filled with hurt, betrayal, lies, humiliation, and sadness on both sides. What we gained was peace, forgiveness, and yes, the ultimate human gift, unconditional love.

So whenever I run, on a day like today, it is raining, and I am tired, and I don't have energy for the last mile....I often think of my father, and how he felt when he couldn't run. And today I thought of the Pope, and how he hasn't been able to move well for years, and has continued on bravely. And I thought of my friends in Iraq and how they risk their lives every day to further freedom there. And with all of these thoughts, my mind freed itself from my body, and every time I put my foot to the ground again, it was for one of these people, these millions of people all over the world, suffering in different ways. I felt lucky, I am free to run, I have the use of these legs, and I will use them for all of those that can’t. I will embrace life. Because ultimately, it is death that makes life precious.

Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress

2005-03-31T17:40:00.000+03:00

This book, written by Dai Sijie deserves a long look. Essentially, the storyline is that two boys, best friends to a point where they are more like brothers, are sent to a remote mountain village to be "re-educated" during the period of Mao's "Cultural Revolution". The boys are chosen because their parents, respectively doctors and a dentist, are considered part of the bourgeois educated class, and therefore, are seen as a threat by Mao's government. The narrator of the story, and his best friend, Luo, who are now 17 and 18 years of age, come upon the most coveted female in the area, who is the daughter of the local tailor, and is thus nicknamed, "the Little Seamstress", as she helps her father with his work.

She is obviously intelligent, if not "properly educated" as the boys were beginning to be before their exile, and still desire to be when they are able to picture surviving their re-education. They have little chance of ever truly being chosen to go back to their families (the party line was that re-education was for 2 years or so, but everyone knew that dependant on the parental background, it could be forever). Eventually, through a series of mishaps, they come upon a literal treasure chest to them, a suitcase filled with Western books. There are novels by Balzac, Flaubert, Melville, Gogol, and others. Balzac is the first book that they are able to obtain, and thus they share it with the Seamstress, who colludes in the plan to obtain the rest of the books with them. When they get them, Luo, who has by now fallen in love with the Seamstress, and has engaged in an affair with her, continues to read her Balzac, hence the book's title.

There were so many relevant cultural issues in this book, and it made me think in ways that books like "Reading Lolita in Tehran" (which was a great book in its own right) did not. There are many of these books out right now, which fascinate me, because I have heard enough tales growing up of those in communist China and Russia that dared to read Western literature, and I know of the stories of "River Street", where Iraqis would go to trade such books as well, during Saddam's reign, with the threat of torture hanging over their heads if found out. I have always felt that I would be one of those people driven to that....my mind has an insatiable appetite for new information, and particularly literary works, so I can imagine how people would be driven to take life or death chances simply for a glimpse into another world.

Both boys eventually fall in love with this girl....and while she loves them both, she loves herself yet more. Luo, she loves and takes as her lover, and he shows the extreme need of a male for a female, when, against his overwhelming fear of heights, he scales a treacherous path to get to the Seamstress each day. Being a present day American, it is easy to sometimes forget the lengths that young lovers will and must go to for each other in other cultures, and how it is expected that the male will be the one going to lengths to win the girl. (Once the girl is "won", of course, that is a different story, her role changes completely to the one that must serve the male for the rest of their lives in most of the same cultures where she is revered before.) The narrator comes to love her almost as a sister at first, but when Luo is granted a month's reprieve to be at his mother's deathbed, it comes upon him to protect the Seamstress for his friend. Thus, he spends more and more time caring for her, and her father, and one night he realizes that his thoughts of her have changed in an erotic scene where he has taught her how to stain her fingernails red, and he can't sleep for dreaming of tasting her fingers. She then comes to him for help, as she is pregnant with Luo's child, and he embarks on a journey to assist her with gaining an abortion, as the only other outcomes for both she an Luo are death and/or banishment. He takes on this burden as if it were his own, indeed he feels as it is, so much he loves both she and Luo. She is, while appropriately grateful, a wild thing, and wild things are not meant to be contained....sometimes not even by the bonds of love.

The ironic twist at the end of the book left me stunned. The entire time that I was reading this, I was feeling that this book is leading the reader to showing the terrible parts of communism, and the effects on lives both young and old, and that the reading of Western literature allows for the opening of minds. The ending makes you consider both sides, and the reality that is life, which means that each person as an individual is shaped differently, and what determines their path in life is measured by many things....some of which we don't expect.

It certainly got me thinking in terms of how Westernization has effected other societies for both better and worse. While, one issue batted around often on the blogs is that you can always turn off the television if you don't like what is on, everyone I know in the Middle East is practically addicted to it. I have more American friends that don't watch TV than friends in the Middle East, where, to my mind, one of the worst mediums of communication has proliferated. Don't get me wrong, there is some good on TV, but more bad than good if you look at it collectively, vs. what one can get from reading, arts, music, or other cultural exchanges. It is one reason that I prefer the internet, because, while there are audio and video components, it is closer to real people connecting. There aren't actors pretending to be someone else....though I suppose that is what I love about books as well, the escape as much as the knowledge, but in a book I can mold things, I have the ability to a certain degree to view things in my own way, and maybe that is just as dangerous sometimes. But at least it's got me thinking.

The Known World

2005-03-06T04:44:00.000+03:00

I finished The Known World by Edward P. Jones.

I came by this book as I have many in the past months of my life, in an airport. I can't stay out of a bookstore, no matter where it is if I have even 5 minutes of extra time, I am pulled by an irresistable force by the allure of the treasures that await me inside.

That said, airports aren't known for their fantastic selection of books, though I'll grant that a few international ones have a sometimes interesting selection that you don't find usually elsewhere. (You can also tell a lot about the political leaning of the demographic in any given area by what's in the front of a bookstore....it's not just the latest books out, but the ones that the demographic will be most interested in....I used to do that for a living, but that's a story for another day.)

Anyway, I was on my way to LA when I picked up this book, had 7 hours in front of me, sounded promising, not because it's a pulitzer prize winner, but because it seemed to have an interesting storyline, and isn't that what we all pick our books for, either the storyline, or the information that they can provide?

Well, while this book had its moments, and it did, the overall writing style was distracting, the characters were underdeveloped, and it was....sadly, a disappointment to me. Here's a novel about black Americans owning other black Americans....some of the first prominent black slave owners in the country. A lot of fantastic possibilities for historical fiction, right? The worst thing for me was that as I read, (and I had to force myself to keep reading), I kept hoping for some tie up at the end that was going to make it all worthwhile. I was hoping for the characters to intersect to make me care more, to make the extremely important lessons of this book (and it had plenty of them) stick with me. And that never happened. The timeline jumped around enough, and the characters were just underdeveloped enough to make it too easy to put down. I was incensed when Augustus was sold, a free man for all those years, just taken and sold. When, however, he died not all that many pages later....I didn't feel much at all. That's an undeveloped character. And it's a shame, because some of the characters had great potential. In fact, the best developed characters in my opinion, Elias and Celeste, were developed much more highly at the end of the book and Jones did a great job developing them quickly. If only he had put that kind of feel into his other characters....and hadn't jumped back and forth in time constantly, he could have had a hell of a gripping book. Instead, it's one that's important cultural, historical, and economic lessons on slavery will...instead of lingering in the back of the mind...simply fade away.

A reader's thoughts on books, culture, and how they fit

2005-03-04T06:48:00.000+03:00

This blog is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I've blogged plenty before, on politics, culture, and world affairs. But I haven't blogged for a long time because of my involvement in certain areas where it may cause harm to the work I was trying to accomplish.

My one other love, however, is books. I could not live without words. They provide a window to other worlds, an escape, a reality, whatever you are looking for, and many times, what you are not.

So here is my modest attempt at sharing books as I read them, hope you enjoy the critique....